The Segregated Bus – A Utilitarian Parable

Once upon a time, in a land called Capitalista, there was a bus and the bus was sleek and fast; bright and shiny and everyone who saw the bus drive past thought how nice it was.

But, inside, it was not so nice for it was a segregated bus; divided between the rich and the poor.

All of the poor people, you see, had to sit at the back of the bus while all of the rich people sat up front. That was the law; an unwritten law but a law that everyone followed nonetheless.

Then, one day, the bus tried to drive along a very narrow and treacherous mountain road; a road which was notorious for terrible road accidents.

And all the poor people at the back, looking out of the window, covered their eyes and said,
“Drive slowly, driver. It’s a very, very long way down”.

But all of the people at the front shouted, “Hurry up, driver. We’ve got busy lives and money to make. Drive faster, you idle good for nothing fellow”.

And the driver of the bus, because he couldn’t hear the voices at the back, only listened to the voices of the rich people sitting up front and, putting his foot down firmly upon the accelerator, drove faster and faster and faster.

Unfortunately, the road was not only narrow but also very slippery because there was a large patch of oil right across it, spilled by a petrol tanker that had overturned and, because the bus was going so fast, it skidded and, though the driver slammed his foot down hard upon the break pedal, he couldn’t stop the bus in time and it ended up skidding off of the road.

It didn’t skid entirely off of the mountain however, much to the relief of all the passengers but, instead, only the front of the bus went over the edge.

Nevertheless, it was balanced so precariously upon the edge that it could have, at any moment, tipped over into oblivion.

“All the people at the front, move to the back”, said the bus driver, “Or else the whole bus will go over”.

But the Rich people weren’t happy with the idea of joining the poor people at the back of the bus and most of them, stubbornly, refused to move; some enterprising business men among them even suggesting that parachutes for the rich were the answer.

However, the poor people at the back of the bus, seeing the insane behaviour of the rich people at the front all decided, “We’re not waiting around for them to come to their senses”.

And, using the bus windows as escape exits, all the people at the back of the bus got out of there in a hurry.

You can probably guess what happened next. All of the rich people, who were also very fat because of all the luxury food they ate, were just too heavy and so they; the poor bus driver and the nice, shiny bus all went over the edge.

A sad ending for the rich people and the poor driver, I think you’ll agree but, after that terrible accident, busses were no longer segregated. All passengers on all busses were equal and the drivers didn’t take foolish risks anymore either because they closed down that old, narrow mountain road and built a much safer road with a strictly enforced speed limit and thus, in the long run, everyone
lived happily ever after.