Celeb Goss

She is so famous, she is known
by just one name, but not her own.
Somewhere along the way, she lost
all sense of self and paid the cost
of growing up in public. Child-
hood games enacted in a wild
playground where behind-the-bike-shed
kisses translate as giving head
while wearing Mickey Mouse Club ears.

Her agent is so sick of tears
and tantrums that he tries to make
her go to rehab. Though each break-
down makes a headline and puts cash
in the bank, she is trailer trash
at heart and lacks the grace to keep
her fanny out of photos. Sleep
and dreams are drug induced nightmares.

Her eyes are blank as stalkers' stares
and smudged inch thick with make-up, black
as her dyed roots. All her comeback
tour dates cancelled, following a
scene in which she gave the finger
to her fans and told them to "Fuck
off and die. Leave me alone. Suck
my titties, losers". Still, she scrubs
up nice (in the light of night clubs,
at least) and I'd still give her one.

Celeb goss is such harmless fun.