A Lesser Man

I am older than you ever were,
but still nowhere nearer wise
than when I slept in innocence
upon your friend's frayed sofa.

With the roar of Romford
raw in every word I sought
to press into a poem...
God, I am a lesser man -

for even now, I talk such bollocks
and deny my heart its chance
to tell you how I really feel.
How I felt

about a married woman,
who should have known much better
than to lay naked
beneath a borrowed blanket,

until the sparrows coughed
discreetly as suburban dawn
steamed up the windows
and loitered in net curtains.

I would have loved to be in love,
yet all I did was glimpse
the curvature, the dark tips
of mere wank fodder...

Forgive me
for folding beneath the weight
of all that never happened,
for not knowing

that you would leave so soon,
so young -
and I would live without you
in such ignorance.