Sonnet 18 (Non Shakespearian Version)

Shall I compare you to a day in summer?
You may look lovely, but you've got a temper innit.
Rough winds blow slates down from the roof. It's a bummer,
And the length of seasons has become indefinite.
Sometimes, the heat encourages pollution's haze
And often skies are stained yellow as a jaundiced eye
And blondes are only blonde for a few days,
By time and nature revealed, as dark roots grow 'neath dye;
But you remain a stunner for all that.
Nor does your Croydon facelift detract from Bingo wings,
Nor do you sweat that much for a woman who is quite fat,
When inappropriate hem and neck lines promise such things:
So long as men lust after all they see,
So long shall summer's moods resemble PMT.