Twelve Months In Limbo


from the ABC set 2005-2006

I pressed my lips against the wall
To replicate a cold obsession
Eyes both blank; infatuated
Thinking of the white she-wolf

The definition she imposed
Misunderstanding my intent
Distorted now by waves of muzak
Refining my subdued condition

Involuntary, wasted movement
Propelled me into this small cage
Enveloped and all senses clouded
Stalking an imagined prey

I possessed a claustrophobic future
Radial; the faces vague
A symptom of romantic solace
I ventured only to be silent

The sorrow, realised, retreated
Leaving me without a name
Three answers to the self same question
That I could not even ask

New stimuli remained untested
Archetypal light and dark
Soft lies - the green eyed, scarred deception
Painted once, but no less real

Is this the vision that still taunts me?
The game with cruel and fluid rules
Half hearted then and cynical
The outcome sour with irony

The cage, though rusted, still enclosed me
‘Do Not Feed The Animal’
Chameleon / mutant / arachnid / spectre
Hanging from a shadow-web

Unimpressed, the days converging
Nothing held them separate
Rushing headlong... aimless drifting...
Terminal oblivion

Premonitions fed my anger
When the nightmare went awry
Beneath the shell, all words transcended
On the surface, I forgave

Beyond the trite, concealing word-play
Nothing stood to be destroyed
When amber lit the crumbling façade
Steel devotion gave support

Anticipation disappointed
Life created outside time
And still I paced the same dimensions
Even though the cage stood open

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