Let me take you to some [unnamed] shore
where sardines shoal by the tinfull
and an adjectival sun
bakes dry this seaweed metaphor
I've been torturing
like a stranded jellyfish.
There's something I want to tell you
about a crab's pink meat
without the obvious allusion
to hard shells and soft insides.
There's that shitty bit you have to dress
which might be poisonous.
But let's move on
past shallow tidal pools of meaning -
call them mermaid mirrors
for poetic whimsy -
and gather driftwood we can carve
for yet another stanza.
Here's where the subtext drowns
in the cliched crash of waves:
the unnecessary sonics
that declaim O! dazzling day!
you're gonna need your sunglasses
when we polish this last line.
Comments
lenchenelf | May 12, 2010 - 15:54
Spoilsport, I was just tuning up! smiled atb Lena xx
Ewan | May 13, 2010 - 10:41
Bitter, cynical and most enjoyable.
Tinful? One L, no?
chuck | May 13, 2010 - 14:14
Superb.
WilkyBarKid | May 14, 2010 - 09:04
Hmmm. Wouldn't 'tinful' be like 'beautiful' i.e having the quality of tin?
I mean a full tin of sardines - so perhaps I should say tin-full or tins-full?
Cynical, yes. Perhaps I should give up reading poetry. It just annoys me.
Ewan | May 14, 2010 - 09:13
You may well be right, but I direct you to the second definition of 'hatful' on this link,
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hatful
equally, is 'mouthful' a quantity or the adjective describing something which has the quality of a mouth?
Yes, I got that feeling from your poem.
WilkyBarKid | May 14, 2010 - 09:32
Yeah, you're doubtless right. As someone who teaches English, you're probably more aware than most of the logical inconsistency of the language.
Ewan | May 14, 2010 - 10:41
You're right about that: don't you think that the number of inconsistencies in English increases the possibilities in writing though?