What Hurts The Most

I grab her hand, and smile as she starts running alongside me. She squeals as she jumps a puddle, and she nearly falls. I grabbed her by the waist and she giggles as I lift her. I walk across the grass, and set her down. She was as light as a feather, and I loved her for it. I loved her for everything she did. She was the greatest person I had ever met. I was the luckiest girl in the world for meeting her. She was the best girlfriend I could ever have. She turns and smiles at me. Her smile made the world go a little slower, and made everything seem a little more peaceful. She was wearing her little white dress, that flowed with the wind. Her long brown hair made me lose myself in a heart beat. Suddenly, she falls, and I look to the ground, and she was gone.

I wake up shaking, and breath heavily. I look to my side, and she wasn't there. I thought... ugh. I lay back down, shaking like a chihuahua. I know she is gone. I know that.

I lay on my side, shivering. I have that dream every night. Every night I trick myself into thinking she is still there. Alive. I get out of my bed, and throw on my pajama pants, and make sure my bra was on. I walk down my stairs, the creaking slowly break my heart.

Angel would always walk down these stairs, her hair messy and yet beautiful. I would always have her coffee ready for her, piping hot.

I reach the kitchen, where I would always see her.

We were together for years. Five years to be exact. I had known her since grade school. It was horrible when she had left. I felt like a half of me was gone. I knew that. Angel, was my other half.
I was depressed before I met her. I walked around like I was carrying the world on my shoulders. I hated everyone and everything.

She then came around, and my life was changed. I never even took a second look at her in school, besides in Senior Year. In Senior Year, she was put on the same group as me for Grad set up. I had the worst attitude about it, and she was damn happy. I thought she was so cute as she was getting everything ready. She was put on decorations, and she decided to make me help her. Her smile was just the greatest thing I had ever saw. I actually smiled when I was around her, and I nearly never did that. The only person who made me smile before was my little brother, and even then it was a effort. Angel could do it at the opening of an eye. Her eyes were a bright grey blue. It was insane how she could just... get me in a second.

I was like putty in her hands.

She and I had become friends, and she would come over frequently. As we got to know each other, I learnt more about her and she knew all of my secrets. I knew many of hers too, she had a very, very rough past. Much like me, but she handled everything carefully, and I would have never guessed that these things had happened to her.

I walk to the door, and I look out in the yard. We lived on a little farm, a cheap one. Me and Angel had moved out after we had lived at home for a year. We found this place, and had gotten it cheap.

I haven't really seen any one around here before, and to my surprise, there was someone just wandering around my yard. I wasn't really sure if I should find out who it is.

The sun was just rising, and there were rays of sun laying across the canola fields. I loved living here, and now... not so much. I was all alone. Sure my parents live a couple miles away, but I don't really like seeing them.

It just isn't the same without Angel.

I hear my phone ring, the same ringtone that Angel had left it at. It was 'Hey Soul Sister' by Train. I loved that song since the moment she showed me it. I run to pick it up.

"Hello?" I say, knowing the only people who would call me is my family.

"Hey Jess honey!" I hear my mother on the other line, her sweet old voice filling my ears. I know that she is planning something, just by the tone of her voice she was excited.

"What's up mommacita?" I say, her favorite nickname. Me and mom had become much closer since Angel had passed. I know that my mom is the one woman I can turn to now.

"Hun, what would you think about going to a dude ranch?"

Oh God.