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The Life Of An OAP

Posted by Yazmin on October 1, 2008 - 14:54

Some people are continually told
That day to day, as they get old
They slowly start to lose their minds
Which really are hard things to find
They bounce off walls, they jump of beds
And continually bump their heads
So us young people go and hide
Behind the closest door we find
And we Pretend that we don't know
The people jumping to and thro

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Comments

Silver Spun Sand | October 1, 2008 - 15:04

I really like this, Yasmin. It conjures up quite a charming picture in my head - as does a lot of my favourite poetry. It is difficult to do, but with this poem, you have pulled it off very well.

Just a minor typo in the fifth line down. Should be "... they jump off beds..." (Not "... they jump of beds" ...)

Really enjoyed. Well done, Yasmin:-)

Tina

Yazmin | October 1, 2008 - 15:54

Thank you very much I've changed it, and i really appreciate it :) bi

Nathan Bednarek | October 1, 2008 - 19:10

Very nice.

Second-last line- you need an apostrophe in dont- don't.

I love these lines:

'They bounce off walls, they jump ofF beds
And continually bump their heads'

good work.

Nathan.

Yazmin | February 23, 2009 - 19:37

Thannk you,I know its a little late to show appreciation but I thought I should :)