Jokes

When Ted got back from the factory he found his wife on the sofa in a very nervous state. “What’s for dinner love?” “Ted.

He has a wonky eye,
And a crooked nose,
And lips that seem to sigh,
Just get me in some clothes!

We sprayed him with perfume,
And kissed his soft fur,
Then placed him in your room,

hickory dickory dock
the mouse ran around with the clock

humpty dumpty had a big spoon
the cat ran away with the moon

the hunter and the honey
hunted for the bunny

Psychologist: “What is the trouble?”

Patient: “It’s my memory.”

Psychologist: “And when did this trouble start?”

Patient: “What trouble?”

$

My second joke.

Not really a joke but a story that makes your friends curious!

There’s nothing Ricky Steenkamp liked more than to fuck, shoot and drink. His Jeep was his home. It had to be, he was kicked out of the other.

No offense to English women,I am not stereotyping.
I am English

Please tell me you get it!?

The old lady wears tube socks,
That stick out from scuffed black boots

More jokes...........

Tale of two cities ?

Girlfriend trouble.............

A bit of tree plantin'.

Those terrible grey hairs.

A cheeky fullback ?

All that posh french.....?

Someone told me you can't end every line in a poem with the same sound. Why not? Thought I, so I gave it a try.

A poem drawing a fairly reasonable comparison between Bins and Brains.

I thought it was pretty clever of me at the time!

Poetry at it's least refined I suppose.

It's a poem ostensibly about my family, though in very unflattering terms!