My Stories
The Pranksters Submitted on February 18, 2010 - 03:22 | 94 reads
The Alchemist Submitted on June 21, 2009 - 18:26 | 122 reads
Tim Clare For Regent Submitted on January 29, 2009 - 13:49 | 218 reads
Who's John? Submitted on January 29, 2009 - 13:44 | 175 reads
The Theme From Rocky Submitted on May 11, 2008 - 21:45 | 382 reads
50 Ways Submitted on May 5, 2008 - 01:33 | 729 reads
Miss Scarlet Always Moves First Submitted on May 3, 2008 - 23:47 | 344 reads
The Grid Submitted on April 14, 2008 - 13:08 | 210 reads
Good Book Submitted on April 9, 2008 - 14:16 | 184 reads
I Suppose It Was Pretty Obvious To Everyone Submitted on April 1, 2008 - 15:09 | 243 reads
Something in me, I suppose, must be going blind Submitted on April 1, 2008 - 14:55 | 171 reads
Q & A With Jacques Rancourt Submitted on February 17, 2008 - 21:41 | 697 reads
Miss Tempest Thinks Submitted on February 17, 2008 - 19:40 | 216 reads
Limericks Submitted on February 5, 2008 - 22:16 | 372 reads
Dear Man I Saw On The Platform At Colchester Submitted on January 31, 2008 - 21:20 | 389 reads
Poetical Science Submitted on January 25, 2008 - 17:55 | 255 reads
The Sestina Code Submitted on January 25, 2008 - 05:23 | 232 reads
My Favourite Song Submitted on January 15, 2008 - 00:37 | 947 reads
The Impossible Deathbed Lament of S. McDuck Submitted on January 11, 2008 - 03:58 | 232 reads
The No-Cry Sleep Solution Submitted on December 13, 2007 - 00:48 | 276 reads
Rest Cure Submitted on December 13, 2007 - 00:47 | 270 reads
Adjustment Submitted on December 13, 2007 - 00:46 | 310 reads
After Hours At The Granbull And Farfetch'd Submitted on November 28, 2007 - 04:53 | 291 reads
Seventh Circle Submitted on November 21, 2007 - 18:03 | 803 reads
Manhood Submitted on October 12, 2007 - 03:23 | 311 reads
Errata: Twenty-Fourth Episode: Theatre of War Submitted on September 28, 2007 - 04:32 | 346 reads
Errata: Twenty-Third Episode - Oh Shoot Submitted on September 28, 2007 - 04:24 | 320 reads
Dance Dance Revolution Submitted on September 11, 2007 - 16:03 | 355 reads
Secret Messages Submitted on September 10, 2007 - 17:07 | 380 reads
This Line's The Title Submitted on August 29, 2007 - 01:17 | 416 reads
Seven Reasons To Stop Writing Poetry Submitted on August 25, 2007 - 03:01 | 452 reads
Mrs F*** Submitted on August 7, 2007 - 14:02 | 1098 reads
Flick Submitted on June 5, 2007 - 14:57 | 810 reads
The Devils Submitted on May 18, 2007 - 23:32 | 787 reads
Erasmus Wept Submitted on May 18, 2007 - 23:31 | 709 reads
Getting In Touch Submitted on May 18, 2007 - 23:30 | 755 reads
We're The Very Best At Being Bad Submitted on May 16, 2007 - 20:20 | 782 reads
Insurgency Submitted on May 16, 2007 - 20:19 | 770 reads
Flint Submitted on May 16, 2007 - 20:16 | 760 reads
Disgrace Submitted on May 15, 2007 - 20:56 | 757 reads
Queen Submitted on May 15, 2007 - 20:53 | 682 reads
Water Submitted on May 15, 2007 - 20:52 | 684 reads
To My First Love Submitted on May 14, 2007 - 12:02 | 842 reads
Windsock Submitted on May 14, 2007 - 12:02 | 743 reads
Cufflink Submitted on May 14, 2007 - 12:00 | 756 reads
Issue Submitted on May 12, 2007 - 13:07 | 762 reads
I Am Still Here Submitted on May 12, 2007 - 12:59 | 722 reads
A Mind Reader Once Submitted on May 12, 2007 - 12:56 | 741 reads
Errata: Twentieth Episode: Power Vacuum Submitted on May 4, 2007 - 15:33 | 396 reads
Welcome To The Magnet Submitted on April 11, 2007 - 04:18 | 635 reads
Errata: Nineteenth Episode - The Moose Speaks Submitted on March 24, 2007 - 02:04 | 439 reads
Requiem Submitted on March 19, 2007 - 20:11 | 492 reads
Self Portrait Submitted on March 19, 2007 - 20:02 | 500 reads
Come On, Cocktease Submitted on March 17, 2007 - 23:56 | 755 reads
Errata: Eighteenth Episode - Gunishment Submitted on March 10, 2007 - 17:50 | 608 reads
Here's To You, Mr Robinson Submitted on March 1, 2007 - 19:24 | 477 reads
Bugger Bognor Submitted on February 23, 2007 - 01:14 | 1106 reads
Errata: Seventeenth Episode - Cakewalk Submitted on February 20, 2007 - 03:01 | 504 reads
Errata: Fifteenth Episode - Enter Screamo The Clown Submitted on January 31, 2007 - 02:48 | 1675 reads
Thirteenth Episode - Midnight At The Magic Bordello Submitted on December 21, 2006 - 02:27 | 660 reads
Errata: Twelfth Episode - End Submitted on December 7, 2006 - 02:05 | 628 reads
Errata: Eleventh Episode - Deadlock On Doomsday Eve Submitted on November 29, 2006 - 02:08 | 570 reads
Errata: Tenth Episode - Trouble at the Top Submitted on November 22, 2006 - 15:06 | 801 reads
Smugglers Submitted on September 8, 2006 - 11:05 | 601 reads
Nook Submitted on September 8, 2006 - 10:45 | 1555 reads
Undercity Submitted on August 9, 2006 - 12:29 | 677 reads
Luv U Hunny Submitted on July 29, 2006 - 01:34 | 744 reads
Perec Submitted on July 27, 2006 - 23:20 | 671 reads
Gay Day Submitted on July 27, 2006 - 19:35 | 1104 reads
untitled Submitted on July 13, 2006 - 00:50 | 623 reads
beauty and the beast Submitted on July 12, 2006 - 22:48 | 661 reads
Beached Whale On Saunton Sands Submitted on July 5, 2006 - 02:20 | 678 reads
Parade Submitted on July 5, 2006 - 02:11 | 664 reads
I Walk East All Day Submitted on July 3, 2006 - 15:12 | 734 reads
Terminal Two: Sixth Episode - What The Deuce? Submitted on June 24, 2006 - 01:33 | 703 reads
Fifth Episode - Meet The Jackpot Twins Submitted on June 22, 2006 - 15:09 | 649 reads
Pillow Talk Submitted on June 19, 2006 - 00:42 | 680 reads
Brown Sauce Submitted on June 18, 2006 - 01:14 | 690 reads
Lull Submitted on June 11, 2006 - 17:18 | 721 reads
Balloons Submitted on June 11, 2006 - 17:13 | 733 reads
things can only get better Submitted on June 8, 2006 - 02:54 | 742 reads
Small Talk Submitted on June 6, 2006 - 17:29 | 650 reads
Terminal Two - Third Episode: The Chess Dream Submitted on June 6, 2006 - 04:09 | 654 reads
Terminal Two - First Episode: Conurbations Submitted on June 6, 2006 - 04:02 | 707 reads
I Don't Want To Die Submitted on June 2, 2006 - 02:43 | 721 reads
Wax Submitted on May 31, 2006 - 17:35 | 660 reads
There Are Dead Things Everywhere Submitted on May 31, 2006 - 17:28 | 699 reads
Ex Pat Submitted on May 24, 2006 - 22:54 | 736 reads
LOCAL POET SLAMS PRESS Submitted on May 17, 2006 - 07:43 | 1651 reads
Palace Of Wisdom Best Kebab & Pizza Submitted on May 12, 2006 - 05:16 | 788 reads
Fat War Submitted on May 11, 2006 - 01:58 | 704 reads
Snaps Submitted on May 4, 2006 - 12:51 | 733 reads
Drink Me Submitted on May 4, 2006 - 12:46 | 768 reads
King Submitted on May 1, 2006 - 16:47 | 743 reads
A Small Amount Of Dark Submitted on May 1, 2006 - 16:37 | 719 reads
Slab Submitted on May 1, 2006 - 16:28 | 762 reads
Soap Submitted on May 1, 2006 - 16:19 | 751 reads
Morning Surgery At The Fantasyland STD Clinic Submitted on April 25, 2006 - 16:15 | 849 reads
Circumstantial Submitted on April 13, 2006 - 17:45 | 795 reads
I Want To Marry A Lighthouse Keeper Submitted on April 13, 2006 - 16:34 | 964 reads
Weed Killer Submitted on April 9, 2006 - 18:04 | 879 reads
Tim Versus The Factoids Submitted on March 30, 2006 - 01:12 | 883 reads
Final Fantasy Submitted on February 20, 2006 - 18:05 | 981 reads
Wanderlust Submitted on February 16, 2006 - 05:41 | 973 reads
Eschatology Submitted on January 29, 2006 - 18:27 | 943 reads
Etiquette Submitted on January 29, 2006 - 18:03 | 923 reads
I Look Forward To It Submitted on January 29, 2006 - 17:57 | 1004 reads
Judy Submitted on January 29, 2006 - 17:49 | 934 reads
Len's Camera Submitted on January 29, 2006 - 17:45 | 889 reads
Patience Submitted on January 29, 2006 - 17:37 | 931 reads
One More, Gentlemen? Submitted on January 28, 2006 - 13:47 | 933 reads
Captain Dali's Pirate Surrealists Submitted on January 28, 2006 - 13:26 | 926 reads
Fire At St Elmo's Submitted on January 28, 2006 - 13:05 | 890 reads
Wolf Submitted on January 28, 2006 - 12:44 | 889 reads
Wallpaper Submitted on January 9, 2006 - 17:41 | 934 reads
Sonnet of the Famished Man Submitted on January 9, 2006 - 17:39 | 904 reads
A Birthday Ode To Jon Stone Submitted on January 6, 2006 - 07:14 | 1123 reads
Heart of Class Submitted on December 28, 2005 - 20:49 | 1034 reads
Bad Pub Guide Submitted on November 6, 2005 - 13:37 | 1021 reads
Cameo Hundesser - Style Consultant To The Wicked Submitted on September 7, 2005 - 19:24 | 1043 reads
Conserve With Grandma Submitted on September 3, 2005 - 21:14 | 985 reads
Recollections Of My Short Career In Pornography Submitted on August 23, 2005 - 13:05 | 1165 reads
Advance Submitted on June 18, 2005 - 10:38 | 1015 reads
Love Sonnet For The Dysphasic Submitted on May 6, 2005 - 23:34 | 917 reads
But Come Evening Submitted on May 6, 2005 - 23:51 | 803 reads
Self-Examination Submitted on May 7, 2005 - 13:23 | 861 reads
Bluffer's Guide Submitted on May 6, 2005 - 23:43 | 880 reads
Redecoration Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:13 | 833 reads
Miracle Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:13 | 842 reads
Mr Hitogata Takes Stock Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:11 | 860 reads
Windfall Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:12 | 856 reads
Glass Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 06:01 | 857 reads
She Leaves Tracks Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:58 | 826 reads
Beneath the Waves There is No Snow Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:54 | 813 reads
Great Dane Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:54 | 814 reads
Rails Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:54 | 811 reads
The Caterer Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:54 | 831 reads
Song of the Lead Miner Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:37 | 820 reads
News Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:34 | 813 reads
Television Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:34 | 796 reads
Seagull Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:34 | 823 reads
Setting the Price Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:32 | 832 reads
Fully Compatible Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:32 | 821 reads
I Love the Tyger Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:32 | 812 reads
Peacock Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:19 | 882 reads
Eagle Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:19 | 833 reads
Thrush Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:19 | 860 reads
Plover Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:19 | 840 reads
Nightingale Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 05:19 | 856 reads
On the Last Day Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 15:59 | 943 reads
Height of Fashion Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:12 | 746 reads
I was the Dog Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 01:38 | 768 reads
F - Rise of the Ancestors Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 01:12 | 957 reads
G - You Were With Craig Last Night Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:18 | 1020 reads
D - The Remorse of Matter Submitted on September 14, 2004 - 23:47 | 1043 reads
Eggs Benedict Submitted on September 14, 2004 - 23:59 | 844 reads
B - Poisoning Your Zafu Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 17:56 | 813 reads
C - The Final Parable Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 20:49 | 987 reads
A - Familiar Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 16:24 | 745 reads
X - Miscellany: A Moral Tale Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:33 | 802 reads
V - The System is Down Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:12 | 1021 reads
W - Shell Song Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 01:04 | 1006 reads
T - Passing Through Fields Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:11 | 746 reads
U - By Proxy Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:11 | 1004 reads
R - Clouds on the Horizon Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:11 | 1117 reads
Streak Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:11 | 849 reads
P - His Grace in a Jam Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 00:55 | 1044 reads
Q - In Hope Valley Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:11 | 784 reads
N - Olive Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 00:55 | 781 reads
O - Libra Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:11 | 805 reads
L - Prise Me Open Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 21:01 | 1026 reads
M - Warning Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 00:54 | 776 reads
J - I Miss You Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 15:59 | 991 reads
K - Sutra Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 16:25 | 1055 reads
H - Clerihew VI Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 1016 reads
I - Precious Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 15:59 | 828 reads
F - Clerihew IV Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 1036 reads
G - Clerihew V Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 1016 reads
D - Clerihew II Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 1025 reads
E - Clerihew III Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 834 reads
B - Haiku II Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:53 | 734 reads
Clerihew I Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 847 reads
A - Haiku I Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:53 | 807 reads
B - Psychic Rubber Nipples Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:38 | 1080 reads
Z - The Truth Hurts Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 830 reads
Y - Statutory Rites Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 1236 reads
A - Psychic Rubber Nipples Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:37 | 1007 reads
J - Luca Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:37 | 974 reads
H - Hower locked up Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:28 | 1017 reads
I - Archbishop Hoek Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:32 | 827 reads
F - Boone's Archangels Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:23 | 1037 reads
G - In the Madhouse Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:25 | 782 reads
D - Magbull Ride Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:14 | 1023 reads
E - Mattie Crimcraft Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:22 | 925 reads
B - Lost in the Big City Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:09 | 1009 reads
C - Interview Transcript Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:13 | 796 reads
A - Clouds Gather Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:07 | 835 reads
This is Memoir Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:51 | 817 reads
Course Open For Play Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:45 | 833 reads
Herefordshire Diary Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:50 | 778 reads
In Cardigan Market Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:52 | 826 reads
Zodiac Whisper Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 05:04 | 770 reads
X - Short Story Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:06 | 833 reads
Y - Sexdeathhaiku Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:06 | 1010 reads
V - Uneasy Dreams Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:04 | 1003 reads
Wall Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 792 reads
The Bliss of Solitude Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 851 reads
U - Satori Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 788 reads
R - Games Without Frontiers&;#063; Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:03 | 939 reads
Sally and I Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 836 reads
Poincare's Return Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:52 | 1003 reads
Q - Ananda's Stone Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:01 | 969 reads
N - Shouming Wenti Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:01 | 1008 reads
Omnipage and the Child-Savage Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 05:01 | 856 reads
L - The Beautiful Journey Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 13:58 | 760 reads
M - Rockets Falling from the Sky Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 14:01 | 758 reads
J - Theo and the Battle of Luding Bridge Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 13:56 | 1136 reads
K - This Beautiful Ship Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 13:58 | 861 reads
How to Chat-up Women Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 1265 reads
I am the Raven, the Walrus and the Carpenter Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 773 reads
Fishing Lesson Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:52 | 776 reads
Greg-a-morphosis Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:51 | 917 reads
D - This Belongs to Jack Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 13:55 | 1024 reads
E - Milton's Revelation Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 13:56 | 840 reads
B - All Three Are Lost Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 13:53 | 1053 reads
Classical Idiom Alive in Soap Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 883 reads
Address to the Albion Faithful Submitted on September 13, 2004 - 04:55 | 893 reads
Terminal Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 01:00 | 805 reads
Couch Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 01:00 | 842 reads
Airsick Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 01:00 | 835 reads
Organ Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:52 | 794 reads
Stand Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:52 | 852 reads
Homunculus Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:19 | 810 reads
Agenda Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:18 | 797 reads
Dream Team Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:18 | 835 reads
Mixer Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:18 | 791 reads
Head Submitted on September 28, 2004 - 22:07 | 792 reads
Head Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:17 | 769 reads
Roach Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 09:37 | 823 reads
Hunt Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 09:37 | 839 reads
Music Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 09:37 | 821 reads
Time Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 09:24 | 850 reads
Correspondence Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 09:05 | 801 reads
Appetiser Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 09:05 | 871 reads
Concert Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:49 | 843 reads
Defence Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:49 | 838 reads
Rising Sun Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:36 | 798 reads
The Astronaut's Love Note Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:36 | 814 reads
Meat Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:35 | 802 reads
See No Evil Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:23 | 870 reads
Loose Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:23 | 817 reads
The Serpent of God Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:23 | 845 reads
Ink Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:23 | 854 reads
After the Rains Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:10 | 879 reads
Jackdaw Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:10 | 871 reads
Lib Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:10 | 844 reads
Pascal Versus the Formicants Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:13 | 926 reads
Jackdaw Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:13 | 734 reads
Pace Setter Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:04 | 767 reads
Shelter Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:04 | 880 reads
Speak No Evil Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 08:04 | 846 reads
Ig Quits Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:54 | 835 reads
Buggies and Trolleys Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:54 | 869 reads
Greg Versus the Zombie Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:54 | 810 reads
Tryst Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:44 | 837 reads
Rubbish Submitted on September 15, 2004 - 07:36 | 838 reads
Okina Beach Submitted on September 29, 2004 - 00:12 | 921 reads
