Since I'm never quite sure of the difference between a blog and a tale....

I'm gonna post this  tale on my blog as well as posting this blog on my tale and leaving it up to the jury of psuedo-scientests to determne which came first the blog or the tail.

This one will get the italics which might prove something to somebody in order to foster misunderstanding and mythmaking.

Well, I suppose it had to happen didn't it? My daughter Mary and her soon to be husband Jon asked me to officiate at their October wedding Thanks to the initiative, capability and maturity of my spouse, I have officially become a minister and I'm starting my own congregation. The certifying organization offered me a formal ordination if I wanted to travel to Portland. They wanted to provide me with a certificate, some vestments and a couple of collars. I assured them that I was good with all that and was probably just gonna rent a tux.

My path is a little different from the norm. Usually a ministry begins with membership in an organized religion. I'm starting without an organized religion in conjunction with my life long practice of disorganization. We'll only call it a religion for tax purposes. My "religion" will be a combination of social science, fiction, rumors and mytholgy based heavily upon a fictional and fractured version of anthropology which you might have been sampling if you're up to date with my stories.

If not, this is good a place to start as any. I intend to originate and practice what I call metaphysictional anthropology which is not science based but rather structured upon specualtion, extrapolation, motivation, gossip and mutual misundertandng not only of the past but also of the present and the future. I will develop questionable data to produce theories about human behavior, cultural practices and societal structures to create a simplified version of misapplied scientific principles in order to understand the camouflaged primitive nature of human societies, culture and falsely assumed premises. I guess the whole thing needs a name. Let's call it Riversend which can be easily misunderstood to mean either Rivers End or River Send. I guess as founder of this congregation, I need a title. Don't call me Reverend call me Riverend or just plain RIV. This is day one. So let it be written, so let it be done. Like if you like and remember our first tenet. "If you're asking our opinion, don't take our advice" Feel free to like if you like.

Welcome to the second day of Riversend. It's me the Riv. Where were we? Oh Yeah. As mentioned Riversend is a tax free "religion" that will be a combination of social science, fiction, rumors and mytholgy based heavily upon a fictional and disorganized version of anthropology.

Why anthropology? Anthropology is considered a social science rather than a legitimate science. It is the quasi scientific study of humans, encompassing a broad range of topics that include culture, society, language, biology, and the past. Anthropologists use empirical methods, systematic observation, and analysis to understand the diversity of human cultures and societies. Plus anthropology saved my ass once in college by keeping me out of the draft.

The field of anthropology is divided into several subdisciplines, each with its own focus:

Cultural Anthropology: Examines the cultural variations and practices of different societies and communities to illustrate how before Riversend we just couldn't get along.

Physical Anthropology (or Biological Anthropology): Investigates the biological aspects of humans, including human evolution, genetics, and primatology to explain how we went from chimpanzee to erect and how through the use of weelbarrows, the Irish learned how to walk on two legs. 

Linguistic Anthropology: Studies language and its role in shaping and reflecting culture and why nobody speaks Aztec anymore and how fthe fuck fuck became the mosgt popular word in the history of humanity.

Archaeology: Explores human history and prehistory through the analysis of material remains not including Noah's Ark or the Tower of Babel.

Since I'm now a minister, perhaps I can call the whole thing a religion. In order to do so, I'm gonna have to define our beliefs and tenets. Then I'll create rituals, ceremonies, practices and the significance of each ritual in co-ordination with the construct of an aphoristic mythology while developing icons that can serve as visual representations of the "religion" that I am fabricating and determining where our rituals fit into the permanently disorganized nature of humanity. We will designate leaders as they emerge or I decide to make a big deal out of somebody in order to prove a catechismic theory without stepping into a pile of dogma. And ths will be our motto: THE RIVER FLOWS.

will be our motto:

THE RIVER FLOWS.

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