Outstanding in the Bedroom
Posted by ice rivers on Sun, 26 Nov 2023
My favorite room? My favorite room is wherever I sleep the most. In our home, I primarily sleep in two rooms: our bedroom and my man cave. The man cave is the safer of the two. I nap in the man cave. I sleep in our bedroom.Both locations are fortified with giant teevee screens.
This brings up the age old question, which is preferable sleeping or napping. Well, napping is a luxury while sleeping is a necessity. Although if pod people or Freddie Kreuger are around, it doesn't make much difference. You go to sleep, you're in trouble. In that case put me in the kitchen.
If we go by total number of hours slept, it's the bedroom. If we go by clarity of dreams, it's the bedroom. If we go by nightmares per hour, it's also the bedroom. Do we enjoy our nightmares? They're great when we wake up.
If I take a nap in the man cave, it reduces my chances of a nightmare so the answer has to be bedroom after a nap in the man cave.
Last night, I didn't nap in the afternoon. I watched some teevee. I read a biography of Alfred Hitchcock. I started handicapping the NFL and before I knew it, Lynn had prepared dinner. She called me down from the cave for some of her delicious meat loaf. After dinner, We went on a short, digetive walk. Returning ing home We turned on teevee. We watched the National news. We watched Stephen Colbert. We watched Jeopardy. We watched a couple episodes of The Office. Then it was time to transfer into the bedroom. In the bedroom, we watched a couple episodes of Homicide Hunter featuring Joe Kenda. We said good night. We turned off the lights and I went to sleep pretty quickly.
Here's where the danger comes into play. On nights that I slip into sleep without a struggle because of no nap and some digestive exercise and teevee, I sometimes fall out of bed.
I haven't fallen out of bed for a comparatively long time, at least five years. I didn't fall out of bed on this occasion either. I was having a nightmare about being threatened by a guy who was plotting against me and who didn't know that I knew what he was doing so he came over to my house all friendly like and when I told him that I knew what he was doing he asked me what I planned about doing about what he was doing. He gave me a snotty look, so I reared back and punched the guy in the nose. As soom as I connected he sent me a 'you shouldn't have done that' vibe and the next thing I knew I could feel my knees hit the ground and scrape the carpet.
I wasn't sure if I had died. I tried to get to my knees but didn't get too far. I wondered once again, if this was the way people died when they were asleep. I struggled to my knees and from a kneeling position I fell face first onto the bed. My knees hurt but I figured that was a good sign.
I rolled back into the sack. I was still a little shook up. I started to put two and two together and as usual got 22. When the guy who was threatening me approached me in my dream, I had got up from the bed and might even have taken a swing at the invisible man before collapsing to my knees and then scraping them as I fell towards the floor.
I hadn't fallen out of bed, I had stood out of bed.
If you've ever had a somnambulistic experience, you know what I'm talking about. The dream becomes amazingly real just before you hit the ground/wake up. It's kinda cool but kinda scary. If i weren't for the possibility of falling out of bed, I'd pick the bedroom as my favorite room no doubt. The man cave, however, is a lot safer.
But hey, the kitchen ain't bad either.
Nor as I write this, seemingly awake, is my office.