Ever thought that the reason your head hurts so much is because it's asking you to blow the brains out of it?  Body language.  Dig?  Ever think that the reason your back hurts so much is because it wants you to lie down on it permanently?  Ever think that God got it wrong?  The impact and fire, He should've had it kill you, instead of the ache scars pain soreness.  He was snoozing when it happened.  Sleeping on the job.  Gotta change the snakes' & lizards' heat lamps, gotta give the rabbit his evening greens.  Gonna have a showdown with God one day.  Ain't we all?  Just want that spot between my shoulders rubbed.  Just want to kiss a woman behind her ears.  Put my hands on her waist, at the small of her back.  Just want to not have the compulsion to swallow ibuprofen with alcohol.  Awwww fuck it.


  Mama said I'm a renaissance man    

     She's a little crazy.  Asked what got that in her head and she said because I understand weapons ( firearms, missiles, bombs) and read classic literature and textbooks and perform car maintenance myself and listen to opera, symphonies and rock-'n'-roll and I cook my meals and take care of exotic nonhuman animals and I do my own plumbing repair ( still ain't fixed the shower) and doing all this I still manage to be domestic, no dishwasher, wash everything by hand, vacuum, polish furniture, build hutches and shit like that...well... this is a reverse compliment.  I manage all that shit but haven't managed to snag a wife.  I can read behind her spoken words .  I just wish she would stop buying me clothes or, at least, underwear, Christ!  I can buy my own underwear!  She's concerned I don't "breathe enough" down there.  Mama, I say, keep my crotch out of your mind.  A little crazy is mama.  Thad, she says (or when she's upset with me, Thaddeus), it hurts my heart that you're alone.  Mama, I say (goddamnit, mama, when I'm upset with her), I'm not alone, I have a rabbit and -

     I mean without a person.  Don't be a smart ass, you know what I mean.

     Mama is a little crazy.




Ever wake up and think Fuck why don't I kill myself today and then a rabbit begs for food or snake splashes in his water bowl... stupid fucking reason to live.  Ever think the pain in death is quick - I'd eat a bullet - and the pain in life lasts forever?  Ever think.  Ever stare at a rifle.... think....?...then life interferes....



Your true  God is a loving woman who lives within driving distance of your place. Seek and ye shall find. All the best, Ray

A loving woman?  Already have a full time job.  But thanks for the thought.