The Lost World

Listen THIS is man

A male teacher talks about the gender attitudes he meets in education


A wolf went to eat in the city But the girls looked so lovely and pretty That it wouldn't be nice To eat them with his rice So he starved - oh poor...

Unspotted Leopard

An unspotted-leopard in tights Once went to the ballet at night A dog said "You sissy! You're dressed like a missy!" And sadly the doggy was right.


Wife, hubby...and the Intruder


There once was an arrogant sheep Thought he'd beat everyone in his sleep But the others ganged up In the Sheep FA-Cup And they left him behind in a...

Queen Bee

A Queen Bee from Hive Number Four Got her stinger all jammed in a door It stuck in there fast But she got free at last And returned to the pollen...


I knew a small puma called Ray Who ate a small piglet each day He said it was best For small pigs are a pest And it's best if they're kept out the...


There once was an owl in a hovel Who thought that he might write an novel A passing young whelp Said "Oh please can I help?" And the owl said "...


A nutall from down in the brambles Came back from an afternoon ramble Said "The ponds are all clotting The trees are all rotting This forest's an...


There was a young monkey from Leicester Got kicked on the nose by a jester Cried out with a shout "That wee chap hit my snout! That malicious mad...


There once was a young kangaroo Who got pebbles inside of his shoe He pulled a wry face As he pulled on the lace But the shoe just refused to undo!


The season is here again, oh God


There once was a jackal called Fred Whose mum liked to lie-in in bed Fred said with a cry "Mum let's you and I Go out shopping and eating instead!"


Iguanas that come from Belfast Are renowned as incredibly fast They once raced a ferry From Antrim to Derry And left those poor sailors aghast!


There was a hyena from Rhyll Left a shop without paying the bill The shop-girl gave chase But he laughed in her face And then legged it right over...


A gopher was watching the telly And scratching the fur on his belly His wife threw him soap Said "Use this you dope As you're dirty and ugly and...


Flamingos from Leamington Spa Once went for a ride in a car Said one to another "I say my dear brother 'Tis the best lark we've had yet by far!"


There once was a doggy called Rover Who liked to eat chicken with clover His friends thought him odd For they only ate cod So they left him and moved...


There once was an eel in a river Whose cold made him sneeze, sniff and shiver So he had a hot toddy That warmed up his body From eyeballs right down...