BODILY FUNCTIONS

LAVATORIAL HUMOUR

A FORCE OF NATURE

It may be like fabric tearing Or maybe gunfire shooting

A TRIBUTE TO LE PÉTOMANE

I got the tell tale sign As I was stood in crowd

CALL FOR SETH

If you need a job doing Then you need Seth

FLY TRAP

When you’ve been to the loo And you’ve done what you must do

IT WAS AT SOUTHWAITE SERVICES

It was at Southwaite services Where I stopped though in a rush

NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

Just because when you fart

STEAMER

Steamer, you’ve left behind a steamer Well can’t you put the lid on the pan? Oh no

THE SIMPLEST PLEASURES # 1

The simplest pleasures in life Requiring no payment or fee

THE SIMPLEST PLEASURES # 2

The simplest pleasures in life Requiring no payment or fee

TOILET TRAINING

When its time to siphon the python First adjust the angle of dangle

TRAPPED WIND

You feel the gripey twinge Your tummy starts to grown

CLEAR RICHARD

To clear the men’s lavatory Two words will do the trick

CONVENIENT CONVERSE

I was relieving myself In the middle receptacle When I heard a voice say

LAVATORIAL LAUGHS

TOILET TRICK Next time you’re in a public toilet There is a trick that you might try Wait until you have a crowd and drop A marble saying "oh shit! My glass eye!" CONVENIENT CONVERSE

THE FASTEST THING

There was an Englishman and a Welshman Talking to a Scotsman and an Irishman They were all sitting down discussing What could possibly be the fastest thing? The Englishmen I know what it ought

TOILET TRICK

Next time you’re in a public toilet There is a trick that you might try

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THE BATHROOM

When you walk into the bathroom You’re American

MY WIFE WAS IN THE BATHROOM

My wife was in the bathroom

AT YOUR CONVENIENCE AGAIN

Watch the Absentminded man When your need to visit the gents

BREATH OF WIND

To break wind alfresco Seems to me such a waste

TOILET TRAINING

When its time to siphon the python First adjust the angle of dangle