DOWN ON THE FARM

Farming Tales

A LONELY FARMER DECIDED TO SEE A MOVIE

A lonely farmer decided to see a movie And take his favourite Cockerel too

ALL THE RABBITS IN THE FIELD

All the Rabbits in the field

ARE YOU WEARING A SMOCK?

Are you wearing a smock?

BEASTS IN THE MIST

They gather in the full moons light On lonely roads at dead of night With shinning eyes that pierce the mists They prey on passing motorists Sure footed over rock and crag A victim fresh to feast they drag

CHIRRUPING CRICKETS

Chirruping Crickets Foxes in the thicket

DOWN AT THE STABLES

Down at the stables

DOWN ON THE FARM

I stayed on my uncle’s farm for a fortnight’s holiday

FOGHORN LEGHORN CROSSED THE ROAD

Foghorn Leghorn crossed the road

FOGHORN LEGHORN DIDN’T LIKE TO GO OUT

Foghorn Leghorn didn’t like to go out

FOGHORN LEGHORN HAD A GIRLFRIEND

Foghorn Leghorn had a girlfriend

FOGHORN LEGHORN WENT TO TOWN

Foghorn Leghorn went to town

FOGHORN LEGHORN’S WIFE ONLY LAID

Foghorn Leghorn’s wife only laid

I WAS TOLD ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION WAS

I was told artificial insemination was

IN A COUNTRY LANE

In a country lane Where the noise of a highway Is thought too fanciful A wagon carries bales of hay As the farmer heads home At the end of the day

IN THE AUTUMN

I n the Autumn

IN THE COUNTRY

I was staying in the country with my girlfriend While on a walking holiday for a long weekend We stopped for a pub lunch at a very quaint spot When a commotion arose over the last hot pot A village resident said the weekend breakers

I’M WORRIED ABOUT ONE OF MY HENS

I’m worried about one of my hens

OUR NEIGHBOURS ARE ORGANIC DAIRY FARMERS

Our neighbours are organic dairy farmers

OUR SCARECROW WON FIRST PRIZE

Our scarecrow won first prize

PASTORAL VOCATION

On the open moor land Shepherds roam

POULTRY FARMERS WHO KEEP

Poultry farmers who keep

SHE WAS A REAL NATURE GIRL

She was a real nature girl Dancing happily in the meadows

SIT DOWN IN THE MEADOW

Sit down in the meadow And we will bill and coo

THE CHANTICLEER HERALD

The chanticleer herald

THE CHICKEN AND THE EGG LAY

The chicken and the egg

THE MOST MIRACULOUS ANIMAL

The most miraculous animal

THE SUFFOLK HORSE

The Suffolk Horse Heavy draught horse

THE SUFFOLK PUNCH

The Suffolk Punch Heavy draught horse

THE SUFFOLK SORREL

The Suffolk Sorrel Heavy draught horse

THERE IS AN OWL OF LOW MORALS

There is an Owl of low morals

THERE WAS A TRAGIC CASE

There was a tragic case

WHAT KIND OF FOOD IS MUESLI?

What kind of food is Muesli?

WHEN ACTOR FOGHORN LEGHORN

When actor Foghorn Leghorn

YOU CAN STOP MILK TURNING SOUR

You can stop milk turning sour
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I WAS ALWAYS TOLD THAT FARMING

I was always told that Farming Was a terribly tough way of life

COCK SURE

Why across the road Did the cockerel strut

COUNTRY WATCH

I went to the countryside

HOLY COW

Who was the first person? Maybe a man maybe a woman To stand in a field one day

PIG SICK

In veterinary terms If a pigs throat was sore

STOP THE TB CULLING

Stop the TB culling?

THE MERITS OF FERRETS

The merits of ferrets

THE THREE LITTLE PIGS

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner A waiter took their drink order the first said "I would like lemonade" The second ordered orangeade the third little piggy said “I want beer”

THE WHITE HORSE IN

A white horse walked into a pub And ordered a pint and some grub

THIS TALK OF CULLING BADGERS

This talk of culling badgers

WHAT'S UP DOC?

The old wives tale certainly implies That carrots are good for the eyes

A FEARFUL HARE GOES TO GROUND

A fearful hare goes to ground And startled Pheasants take flight

WHAT A COINCIDENCE

A farmer went straight to the bar And ordered a glass of champagne The woman sitting next to him said, That she had already done the same

WHAT DO YOU CALL A ROOSTER WHO WAKES

What do you call a rooster who wakes

IT WAS FOGHORN LEGHORN’S BIRTHDAY

It was Foghorn Leghorn’s birthday

MILL STREAM

The stream runs down the rugged hill To where stands a quiet water mill