Muttered Asides
By ice rivers
The usual as collected in 2023
- 304 reads
Completing the Vigil With Muttered Asides
If I were to engage either artificial ghost writers Casper or Jasper, I would want to test them first. It's pretty clear that Ice has a great...
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- 147 reads
Roy Buchanan in Central Park
He did a lot but he could've done a lot more if he hadn't fallen off the wagon and hung himself in a jail cell. I guess that's why they call it the...
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- 146 reads
Blanchett is Tar
I'm not sure exactly how to classify the movie Tar . It's kind of an unsolved mystery both with its generic classification as well as within the plot...
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- 306 reads
Winking
I'm a winker not a "wanker". When it comes to punctuation, air quotes stand for winks. If you catch my drift. If I'm walking through the mall and I...
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- 237 reads
Digging Digression
"But you digress....." Of course I do. I'm a digressionist not a novelist. I'm not about plot or characterization or decision making or conflict. I'm...
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- 143 reads
Don't Shoot the Piano Player (HGWT recap)
Prologue..... "as long as we're betting. Jim, let's make it worthwhile...the piano player and the eight thousand dollars he lost against the girl."...
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- 112 reads
Type Monkey Type
Yesterday's filler was much fuller than it had any sane mathematical right to be. Look at the god damned odds Pretty sure it was a one in a two...
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- 191 reads
Due Dilligent Exploration
As part of due diligence as a writer, I'm investigating Artificial Intelligence. The first product that I became aware of is called Jasper. I sent a...
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- 127 reads
The Kids Are In Town
After thirty five years of teaching English, I consider myself adept at generating and directing discussion and as you can imagine, I'm also a...
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- 120 reads
Superb Slump
JR is in a slump. The fans in the fantastic stands rarely understand the mechanics of a slump. JR is a veteran. He's been in the game for ten years...
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- 123 reads
SoMethiNg Else
My memory is not the problem. It's something else. According to Dr. Salvatore Timpani, if you are concerned about memory loss than you do not have...
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- 128 reads
Timmy
Some folks claim that when baseball fans remember the golden years of baseball, they are usually the years when the fan was 12 or 13. Bob Matthews...
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- 195 reads
The Belzer Effect
Richard Belzer died yesterday. I have a fond memory of Richard. My memory stretches back 20 years to the first time we ever took Mary to New York...
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- 352 reads
Changing Cleopatra's Nose and Every Thing Else.
One of my idols, Stephen Jay Gould wondered what would have happened if it had been raining instead of sunny when the earth came into existence? Thus...
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- 331 reads
Through a Sad Window
Call Joe or maybe Harry. Look through the window. I had no idea but many other people knew. After all this time. Nobody told me. Lynn broke the news...
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- 617 reads
Exercising Independence
Let's talk about reading speed and speed reading. Speed reading seems to suggest that we read too slowly and need to pick up our velocity in order to...
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- 283 reads
Confronting The Elephant Head in the Room
I was afraid of the Eastman House even before I was terrified by my first movie at the house, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. We had visited the place a few...
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- 266 reads
Deskwork
I'm an institutional guy. I spent 55 consecutive years sitting at school desks or looking at others sit in those desks. Many a desk contained a heart...
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- 181 reads
Think Twice...It's All Right
Yesterday, I reread 1984 for at least the tenth time although it's been at least five years since my last read. Once again I found myself having to...
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- 261 reads
A Fan of Pal
I've always been a fan of George Pal, especially his direction of War of the Worlds and When World's Collide. Last night I caught a film that he...
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- 158 reads
Two Elephants not in the Room
Speaking of elephants in the room or in this case not in the room brings me to last night's academy awards. The whole show was shaded by the absence...
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- 174 reads
The Sound of Approaching Elephants
Before leaving the subject of elephants inside or outside the room.... I suggested that Avatar be in a category of its own. Back in 1929, the Academy...
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- 123 reads
Watersheds
Yup, Celtic, 1928 was the watershed moment for silent films. although I'm not sure what a watershed is. At first, I thought it was a flush toilet...
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- 123 reads
Teddy Bear Picnic
I was born in 1946 before the popularization of teevee. We were the first family on our block to have a television. Up until that time, I was all...
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- 187 reads
Praying to Find Another Lost Wallet
I'm well known for losing my wallet and panicking when I do so. The panic doesn't help in the search for the wallet which of course when I find it,...
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- 219 reads
Scrabble Stalemate
My wife is a world class Scrabble player. She plays on line regularly and enjoys the competition. She likes to win. I'm not bad at Scrabble myself...
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- 415 reads
The Secret of the Golden Pen
We all have our secrets. Writers have secrets too. I'm gonna locate my darkest secret and then I'm going to dump the truth on you and you'll think I...
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- 187 reads
Crispy Bacon Bomp
Bomp, Bomp, Bomp Bomp Bomp, Ba, Bomp. Bomp, Bomp Bomp Bomp, Bomp Thus begins Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple. You know you know it. Everybody knows...
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- 168 reads
Classic First Date
Oh hell, why not try a love story for a change
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- 305 reads
Scratching Out a Fifteen Minute Itch
I've got exactly fifteen minutes to write and scratch so here we go. Last night I dreamt that I heard a mosquitoe flying around me which produced a...
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- 139 reads
Gold Roof Mansion Perhaps
Hey why not a Gothic horror story
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- 269 reads
Surrounded By Miracles
I was up in the cave reading when Lynn called me down for dinner. As I reached the top of the stairs, I could smell what she was cooking and once...
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- 157 reads
Had Dazzle Will Disappoint
Once upon a time, somehow, we husbands dazzled our wives. Every day we hope to somehow reach into our worn out dazzle satchel and do it again. Every...
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- 181 reads
In the Harem of Sheik Yathang
Life in a harem is not all that it's cracked up to be, a eunuch named Vallay learned the hard way. After "finishing school," Vallay, previously known...
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- 146 reads
Flipping Careers 1
Since I don't know if what I know is what everybody knows, I'm always afraid of being Captain Obvious. My interest in career development has...
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- 147 reads
Flipping Careers 2
According to the writing and wisdom of William Shakespeare who knew a thing or two about career development, assuming of course that he was a real...
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- 104 reads
Flipping Careers 3: Childhood
Let's continue with something that we can all agree upon regardless of luck, personality or intelligence. We all started as children, almost all of...
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- 163 reads
Wolves and Werewolves For A Change
As mentioned ad nauseum, the story of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde has had an enormous impact in my life, particularly the concept of "turning". After Dr...
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- 744 reads
A Monument to Je-nskin NÃdizhchÃ
It's as if someone touched a magical monolith in 1939 as motion pictures broke through with color and sound and special effects and gave us three of...
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- 245 reads
A is for the Apple
It's always nice to start at the beginning. Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge. The snake tempted Eve and she in turn tempted Adam...
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- 220 reads
Preparing to Walk
I have spent much of the past thirty years walking behind my wife. I alway ask her to slow down, she often tells me to hurry up. When two people walk...
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- 199 reads
Golden Gift
His family had money and he had his face all of which made him feel like a fraud for most of his life. First the face rugged, athletic and chiseled...
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- 89 reads
At the Speedway
I don't follow NASCAR racing so it was a new experience to visit the Charlotte Speedway in Concord, North Carolina yesterday. We took the tour and...
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- 114 reads
Challenging the Way We Talk
One of the most foremost criticisms of artifical intelligence is also its most endearing, human like quality. Artificial intelliegence makes...
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- 150 reads
En Francais
Sunday evening..... Helene is on a mission of mercy. She need to steal some bread to feed her starving baby sister. Jacques La Plumer is brooding,...
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- 118 reads
The Eyes Have It
Eyes are the windows of the soul. Perhaps the earliest and most unsettling iconic eye close up is from Un Chien Andalou (1929) - when Luis Bunuel...
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- 139 reads
Sacrifice and Discipline
After yet another transgression, Marjorie is fed up with what she perceives as self centered arrogance on the part of her husband who has been so...
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- 170 reads
Avian Responsibility
My fellow Americans, it's time we talk about the real threat to our aviation industry: birds. Yes, you heard that right - birds. For too long, we've...
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- 109 reads
Lesson Learned In Time
After a revealing conversation with Marjorie, Marty realized that he had been so focused on his own desires and interests that he had neglected...
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- 123 reads
Choice
See, here’s the deal. We’re the writers. We’ve got the power. We create these characters. Every once in awhile we can avoid the temptation of having...
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- 125 reads
A Bird Responds Minus Irony
You expect us to be more responsible? Whaddya kidding me. How about cats and windows. Let’s start with cats, the assholes. Every year during our...
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- 130 reads
Saturday Silence in Pleasantville
Trixie was a mixed breed German Shepherd and Border Collie, with a beautiful coat of black and white. She lived in Pleasantville between the bars and...
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- 156 reads
Breakfast after a Night of Itching
Calling Dr. Freud. Hank and Marty were having a discussion about memory loss. Hank said, “I don’t know what the hell I’m saying anymore. Last week I...
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- 235 reads
Final 200
This week, I became obsessed with the fun of creating 200-word compositions. I’ve written at least one every day. This will be my last, as I am...
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- 162 reads
The First 272
Once before the Fall in the Garden of Eden, there was a serpent unlike any other. This serpent was different from all the creatures of the field that...
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- 126 reads
Waiting for Patrick or Someone Like Him
2025 The same group of defilers who had corrupted up the Everglades determined to make another ecological black mark on history when they introduced...
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- 167 reads
The Wisdom of Quicksand Stunting
Today, I’m speaking to Pam Velour. Pam is an active stunt artist who specializes in quicksand entries, struggles and suffocations. According to Pam,...
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- 163 reads
Guam: Paradise for Sha and Na
Another version of Genesis Guam has become Eden for brown tree snakes. Guam is a US territory located in the western Pacific Ocean. It is part of the...
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- 112 reads
To Be Imperfectly Franken
Democrats believe in almost everything and what they don't believe in, Republicans do. Anything goes in America up to a point and then suddenly stops...
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- 146 reads
An Aardark at the Darkness before Dawn
This is a twist on the adage that it's always darkest before the dawn
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- 340 reads
Felix the Flamingo
Refrring to the adage that s mile is a frown turned upside down , this is a story of how a flamingo leaned an "ugly duckling" lesson from a friendly, wise turtle
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- 234 reads
An Aukward Conversation
I love the phrase "whistling in the graveyard. In this piece, I imagined a truly disastrous situation. The final two auks are trying to hide their fear of the ever growing existential crisis that they faced.
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- 139 reads
Passing on the Wisdom of Professor Corey
Many years ago when my son was about to enter the University of Rochester and before we became estranged, I took him to see a screening of Plan Nine...
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- 166 reads
Great Moments in Giant Grasshopper Cinema
When it comes to legends of grasshopper cinema, the undisputed master is/was Gregor who appeared in the giant grasshopper epic Beginning of the End,...
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- 94 reads
Guilt and Dispproval
WARNING: The cautionary essay that you are about to read contains a series of grisly murders. In order to preserve good taste and encourage...
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- 109 reads
Gregor's Journey
So after surviving the the Joad like journey from Oklahoma to Hollywood, Gregor along with 200 others arrived on set. When Gregor arrived on set, he...
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- 150 reads
Lazarus in Limbo
Lazarus was very upset to be removed from heaven and brought back to Earth. What Lazarus didn't know was that he had not gone to heaven. He had gone...
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- 215 reads
Next Time Pilgrim
Pilgrims from around the world journey to Charlotte, North Carolina. They come to visit the home of Billy Graham. It's a very big deal. We live in...
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- 197 reads
Two or Three Walkaways
The oldest "joke" I know is this one. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. This joke takes us into the decision making...
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- 97 reads
The Story of Dawg
Each week in my writing group, we are challenged to respond to a writing prompt. This week the prompt involved cooking.I don't know from cooking...
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- 239 reads
Jacob and Nolan for Jack
Upon returning to Rochester, I ran into my good friend Jack who immediately asked me a rhetorical question; "who shot the deputy and did they kill him." I told Jack that I'd have to think about that for awhile and get back to him. This one's for you, Jack and your two sons, Nolan and Jacob
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- 161 reads
No Strangers Today
To see a stranger, I need to go outside and so does that stranger. No stranger is going to venture into my neighborhood, the danger is too great even...
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- 90 reads
The Inspirational Story of Emily's Story
As the smoke from distant fires forced everyone interested in breathing to stay indoors, a young writer named Emily found herself captivated by the...
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- 324 reads
Preview of a Renfield Review
Like many children reared on Shock Theater in the fifties, Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi grabbed an early spot on my list of favorite actors. Karloff...
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- 168 reads
Renfield Review Preview; Counting Up to Cage
The film Renfield revolves around camp, co-dependency, counseling and Cage. Let's continue our review preview with twenty first century Cage in...
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- 89 reads
Breaking News
We interrupt the review of Renfield for some shocking news; an out of nowhere development and massive upset
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- 89 reads
Renfield and Cage....the verdict
Nic Cage's career can be seen as a combination of farce, spoof, and camp elements. Throughout his filmography, he has taken on roles and projects...
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- 118 reads
Two More Tuesday Afternoons
Writing today out of reflex and habit as I await another Tuesday afternoon. Last week, I visited my hometown and caught an uplifing performance by...
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- 465 reads
A Bloom in Vemillion On Donahue Street
We live in a community named Vermillion. Vermillion is located twenty minutes from Charlotte, North Carolina. Our neighborhood is a wonderful place...
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- 133 reads
Agave Unveiled
I am agave Americana My journey began many years ago, as a tiny seed nestled deep within rich Carolina soil. The world around me was a mystery, and I...
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- 436 reads
Venus Burps
Buzzing through the warm summer air, a fly inhaled the seductive scent of nectar. The aroma wafted through the breeze, beckoning the fly towards a...
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- 121 reads
Ethan Explodes Yet Again
Ethan was a kind-hearted and imaginative child, but he carried a heavy burden on his shoulders – intermittent explosive disorder. Ethan was...
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- 117 reads
Wigs and Caps on Father's Day ( A tribute to Father-in-laws)
Yesterday was father's day. I was going through some storage boxes in my garage making sure that I wasn't hiding any classified documents when I came...
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- 141 reads
Bob Is Born Again
You know those guys who always have a bit of food or drink on their shirts that you can't help noticing when you talk to them? The guys who look like...
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- 84 reads
Grandpa, Cronkite and the Influence of Inflorescence
When Granpa woke up on the first day of summer he extended one streak while ending another. The streak that he extended was his personal record for...
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- 199 reads
Coins and Gifts
Wherever we are and whomever we pretend to be, we are together now and have coins to share in the form of words that stay as we explore the terrain...
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- 137 reads
On The Way To Asteroid City
It's been a very rainy/indoorsy week down here in Charlotte so today we're getting oudda house. We're going to Birkdale to see Asteroid City, the...
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- 126 reads
Gulping Down a Titan Nightmare Jam
Over the past few days our attention has been turned under sea as we became absorbed by the fate of the men on board the missing Titan who had gotten...
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- 306 reads
In Review of Asteroid City
Our Birkdale Plex was relatively crowded on the first day of summer as parents were accompanying their kids to the cash cow plethora of summer...
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- 122 reads
Crashing in a Fertile Field
The death of a monster.
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- 6 comments
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- 290 reads
Jam: A Matter of Taste or Appetite ?
Any discussion of jam must also include a discussion of taste and appetite. The same can be said about reading and writing which you and I are doing...
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- 202 reads
The Horror of Jelly Not Jam
A lot of jam haters try to accuse jam from outer space of devouring a Downington, Pennsylvania and terrorizing that town with its relentless...
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- 109 reads
We Be Jammin'
The word "jam" originally referred to a verb meaning "to press tightly" or "to wedge tightly." It comes from the French word "jambon," which means "...
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- 100 reads
A Seat at the Banquet
If life is a banquet of consequences, then the older we get the fuller the table. Among my current consequences is that I have become comparatively...
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- 186 reads
Wild Bill is Missing
Wild Bill is not a Baby Boomer as he was born in 1945. To this day, he doesn't own a computer. He doesn't have an email address. Recently, he...
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- 89 reads
The Hottest Day in the Recorded History of Earth
Yesterday, it was announced that it had been the hottest day ever recorded on planet Earth. The announcement was matter of fact even though it led off the nightly news. It was only 96 degrees in North Carolina. We were lucky. Naturally, I spent the day on my couch in the man cave watching teevee but aware that what we had denied was no longer deniable and time was running out. So I invented Alex and went all cautionary.
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- 211 reads
Opening Night for Wemby
For most of my life, Sports Illustrated set the highest standard for sportswriting and sports photography. As a life long sports fan,writer and...
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- 87 reads
The Shock of Chocolate
In 1954, we had two places to spend our pennies, nickles and dimes, Burnsies and Dees. They were both on Merchants Road. We passed by Burnsies on our...
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- 366 reads
Three Stores In a Triangle Within a Triangle
I was still pretty smart when we lived on Parsells Avenue. I hadn't taken geometry yet. Still, I knew what a triangle looked like and a square and a...
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- 168 reads
Thinking Thoughts about Thoughts Interrupted by Two Brownies
Just thinking about thinking. What am I thinking? I'm thinking a thought. If it's a complete thought, I can construct a sentence even if it contains...
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- 121 reads
Second Brownie Aftermath
I couldn't sleep at all last night. I kept replaying the second brownie over and over. I kept analyzing the pros and cons of eating that brownie...
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- 128 reads
From Deep Within Emberwood
The Emberwood Rainforest lies deep within the heart of the Amazon Rainforest, spanning across the border of Brazil and Peru. It is a secluded and...
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- 339 reads
Bailla Disappears
And then, one glorious midnight, Bailla disappeared from the village. Bailla found himself standing once again at the edge of the sacred clearing in...
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- 69 reads
Sage Tamarind
Sage Tamarind's knowledge and wisdom were sought after by the creatures of the jungle and the occasional brave souls from neighboring tribes who ventured into the rainforest seeking answers to life's mysteries. He was known to offer guidance and solace, teaching the importance of living in harmony with nature and respecting the delicate balance of the ecosystem. It was during one of his mystical rituals, performed in the hidden clearing surrounded by banana trees, that Sage Tamarind encountered the young green vine snake, Virgil. Sensing the snake's genuine admiration for the banana trees and his pure heart, Tamarind chose to bestow a gift upon Virgil—a gift that would forever change the serpent's destiny and bring harmony and unity to the rainforest.
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- 189 reads
A Recipe for Curiosity
Recipe for Curiosity Ingredients: 1 cup of open-mindedness 2 tablespoons of wonder 1 teaspoon of skepticism 3 cups of exploration 1 dash of courage 1...
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- 281 reads
Ambitions Review
I expected a problem with Ambitions Volume II by Frank Baillargeon. Ambitions Volume I written two years prior was a shock to my system. Volume I was...
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- 207 reads
Arguing with Mahoney
Let's not call Mahoney fat. Let's just say he possessed ,even from his childhood, a magnificent avoir dupois accompanied by a robust joie de vivre ...
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- 194 reads
Then And In The End; A Cement Mixer.
My first memory of death is remarkable in its non-chalance. I was probably 5 years old. I played a lot with a kid named Sammy Ferrante who lived two...
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- 223 reads
The Yankee Clipper
Joe DiMaggio played baseball in the purest sense of the word. His game both on defense and offense exemplified elegance by reducing the elements of...
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- 103 reads
Projecting Venus Without Dinosaurs
In 1923, our understanding of Venus was quite limited, and there were several misconceptions about the planet due to the limited observational data...
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- 104 reads
A Case For Routine Cheek Swabbing
Everything happens for a reason. Dr. Anderson stood by the delivery bed, hands gloved and face masked, ready to assist with the birth. The room was...
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- 2 comments
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- 185 reads
With Friends Like Us
The first one now will later be last......... Within the labyrinth of language, where meanings often intermingle, two words, "indigent" and "...
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- 106 reads
Horror In the Milking Barn
I don't know exactly how old I was but whatever it was, it was too young for a city boy to be visiting a dairy farm. I remember that I was with my...
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- 174 reads
Billboard of Belief
"Some people carry a bumper sticker or two on their car; other people provide a kind of poem." Wild Bill, you were a walking, driving billboard of...
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- 208 reads
Holy Cow
Old Joe White, a 75-year-old bachelor and lifelong Yankee fan, had always been a spry, spirited and childlike man. With a heart full of love for...
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- 115 reads
Smoke Break
There was a time long ago when almost everybody smoked cigarettes. We loved it. We didn't realize we were killing ourselves. Slow expensive suicide...
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- 263 reads
Wishing For Twenty Year Old Granny Without Meaning To
Growing momentarily tired of F bombs, murder, true crimes,serial killers and because writers and actors are on strike, we decided to dial up some...
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- 2 comments
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- 239 reads
Firehouse Phone Fun (Part One)
If you drive east on Main Street Rochester, you will pass East High School. Continuing on towards Winton Road which is the end of the trail for Main...
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- 114 reads
In Orbit On The Far Side of the Moon.
We're all familiar with Pink Floyd and the Dark Side of the Moon. We're all familiar with Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. We're all familiar with...
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- 183 reads
Moose in the Spotlight
In the beginning, it was easy to illustrate the concept of onomatopoeia into classroom instruction. Everybody was still familiar with the Batman...
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- 138 reads
The Frown And The Smile
More on Terry and Felix. Terry the friendly frog was concerned about Felix the Flamingo who always appeared to be frowning which Terry interpreted as...
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- 85 reads
Introducing Barbie
With so many viewing options available, we tend to submerge potential cinematic treasures in the video stream. In other words, we're gonna wait until...
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- 210 reads