Saltburn-by-the-Sea: a novel with mermaids in many parts.

 

Cherry

Meltdown part 1. In which Saltburn-by-the-Sea is not mentioned.

Part 1. One night, while his mother was out teaching, Thor watched a flickery black and white documentary, mostly in Russian, on their six inch...
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Meltdown part 2. Never Experiment on Yourself

Part 2 Never Experiment on Yourself. On the day the Social Worker came to do An Intervention Thor stole a Stylophone from Kev’s Fabulous Keyboards...
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Meltdown part 3. The Spectacular Death of a Bearded Socialist.

Part 3. The Spectacular Death of a Bearded Socialist The money George had left him was beginning to dwindle when the envelope arrived. The power...
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Meltdown part 4. Desire.

Arkwright’s hands shook as he poured the Martinis. Then he told Thor they were going into the reactor. Inside? Didn’t that mean if not a certain...
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A Piece of Ass. Part 2. All the French Singers have bum post cards.

Corey consoled himself with the thought he would be going abroad. He had never been on an aeroplane although once for a birthday treat his parents...
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A Piece of Ass. Part 3. An introduction to Card Sharking

The instructors and other boys were waiting for him at the designated rendezvous point, the statue of a seal, Fidelity, by the train station. Corey...
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A Piece of Ass. Part 4. Mermaid.

Ginny’s Palace was between Rolls , a shop that sold huge sausage rolls, and a children’s ball pit. Over the years every single one of the balls had...
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A Piece of Ass. Part 5. The Sugar Plum Fairy

Then the circus came to town. The first Corey knew of it was when, upon opening up Ginny’s Palace, he saw the flyer posted across the window. Stephen...
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A Piece of Ass. Part 6. Grapefruit Moon. Part 1.

Poulton-le-Fylde was a place of gilded palaces of commerce, monuments to men who had died many years ago, electric trams, street-lamps that in other...
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A Piece of Ass. Part 7. Grapefruit Moon. Part 2

Lifting his rucksack from the floor and placing it carefully on his shoulder, Corey went over to a door marked toilets. Inside was a long silver...
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A Piece of Ass. Part 1

Back then, this time that I’m thinking of, Corey’s mother read fortunes in a small tattered tent on the sea front next to the little kids sand pit...
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Story of the week

The Aquarium. Part 1. I’m Confessin’

On a cold Spring day in 1931 Francis Sheldon Snr. stood on the station platform in an extraordinarily tall top hat and a pair of squeaky shoes,...
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The Aquarium. Part 2. Exposition Coloniale Internationale

Francis Sheldon Snr had supplied his son with a bundle of French francs and told him to find himself a decent hotel, something you can see your...
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The Aquarium. Part 3. La vie en rose.

And he kept running. He ran past a bountiful zoological garden, startling the real live gazelles grazing there, past a grand lake with two bijou...
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The Aquarium. Part 4. King Kong. Jacques Cousteau. WWII. A rescue. A death.

In order to pay for his food and the rent on the space above the Gare du Nord Nemo worked as Rédactrice de la Rubrique des Conseils for Le Courrier...
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The Aquarium. Part 5. I Can’t Make You Love Me.

Their father’s funeral might have been a sorry affair if they had gone. But they did not. The two brothers were only pleased to see each other and...
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Story of the week
Pick of the Month

Sven Goes to War. Part 1. Warriors of the Wasteland

Sven Goes to War. Part 1. Warriors of the Wasteland While their parents watched War 73 ( The war to end all… etc etc) spin out on Nightly News , the...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 2. Private Life.

Private Life Back in those days, and once again much later as a contented old man with his collection of petrified camel toes, Azeri hats made of...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 3. I Want to Break Free

Sven was at breakfast the following morning when his mother, at work in the shop downstairs serving the fishermen their worms and copies of Nude...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 4. The Card Sharks.

The Card Sharks. Each morning there was a klaxon which woke them from their bunks, then a roll call on the former prison yard, then six hours of card...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 5. Come on Stanley.

Arriving seven days after all the other boys due to helping his da out with the welding on the fleet of Evans’ Sausage and Pie vans, why do they...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 6. Dress You Up

On the last day of The Swiss Card Sharp Summer School Stanley and Sven threw caution to the wind, what are they going to do, throw us out on our...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 7. Pictures of You.

Dearest Sven, Our Captain, Welshman from Caerphilly. His grandfather, piccolo player in 47 th grenadiers, killed by stampeding elephant in time of...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 8. The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy

Sven left for Basic Training with a rucksack stuffed with items from Delicious Gifts ; a stick of Happy Holidays rock (12p), a willy warmer with his...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 9. Army Dreamers.

Training consisted of a Six Week High Intensity Programme ( SWHIP ) the first part of which took place ITW (in the woods). Three of the RAT s (...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 10. Masters of War

Masters of War. Because Sven had Excelled Beyond Anyone’s Reasonable Expectations ( EBARE ) a medal in the shape of a Matilda tank firing upon a...
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Story of the week

The Monkey Plans. (An audio extract from Sven Goes to War)

The Monkey Plans . 1. Listen to The Monkey Plans . 2. Read the full story here . 3. Or even from beginning of whole banana here . 4. Enjoy 5. Or don'...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 11. Between the Wars

Between the Wars. It was all very straightforward. The base was housed in a former pickle factory on the outskirts of S. Climb up by a series of...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 12. O mio babbino caro

O mio babbino caro The town of S was a thriving metropolis of four streets. Here were: tea rooms with gilded vaulted ceilings pool halls, the men...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 13. Love Vigilantes

Love Vigilantes . Captain Newheart, squat short and with a belly on him that hung grotesquely over his khaki shorts, a physical deformity or a secret...
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Sven Goes to War. Part 14. Happy House

It was August 23 rd in the year #### when Sven set off into the desert alone and underwent what he would later refer to as his Damascene Conversion...