TECHNOPHOBES, LUDDITES AND THE MODERN WORLD

 

3G

There are no limits to technology We now have new advances with 3g Varied forms of communication Imparting important information Using Internet via laptop interfacing Video clips and picture messaging

A PERFECT GIFT

I just bought my wife a new fridge

A THING POSSESSED

My video recorder is on the blink The things possessed I'm in no doubt

APPLE ARE DESIGNING A HOUSE

Apple are designing a house
1 likes

APPLE FAUX PAS

Apple have cancelled the launch Of a new iPod aimed at kids

ARE YOU WEARING NYLON PANTS?

Are you wearing nylon pants?

BEASTS OF THE AGE

Where once was beauty Now stand the monsters Towering tall and lean Arms stretching outwards These beasts have spread Across the land and sea Like a virulent rash Reaching out to infinity

BEFORE COMPUTERS TOOK OVER THE WORLD

Before computers took over the world A virus was the flu, and a keyboard was a piano A mouse pad was where a single mouse lived And a CD was a bank account and a program was a TV show
Cherry

BEWARE THE IDES…

Ceasar and Brutus were talking one day About the phones with the most cachet

BLOODY TECHNOLOGY

Computers are here to ease your life Preventing tiresome trouble and strife Well that's the story salesmen tell About PC's and laptops as well Computers which we depend upon That work with chips of silicon

BOWES PARK 1920

London’s north was once my home Before the countrywide I’d roam I dwelt in London’s north it’s true In postal code N22 It’s forty years now since those days

BRIGHT SPARKS

NOTHING CHANGES No amount of social scientist will ever Attempt to change a bulb without doubt Instead they will search for the root cause As to exactly why the last one went out GLASNOST

CALL CENTER MODE

One day Bimbette was having trouble With her computer,

CALL CENTER MODE AGAIN

One day Bimbette was having trouble With her computer,

CALL CENTER MODE EVEN MORE

One day Bimbette was having trouble With her computer,

CALL CENTER MODE ONCE AGAIN

One day Bimbette was having trouble With her computer,

CALL CENTER MODE ONCE MORE

One day Bimbette was having trouble With her computer,

CALL CENTER MODE YET AGAIN

One day Bimbette was having trouble With her computer,

CANDY CRUSH

He is a bit of a technophobe

COMPUTER GIRLS

I have several reasons to believe Computers are femininely technologic No one but their own Creator Can understand their internal logic The smallest errors are stored

CUTTING EDGE LENS TECHNOLOGY

My son just bought the most amazing camera

DOES NOT COMPUTE

To teach the computer illiterate really is a thankless task It's something I will never try again so please don't ask

DURING A PASSWORD AUDIT

During a password audit by the IT crowd, They discovered something quite absurd

FAST TRACK

I had to run for the train

FROZEN WINDOWS

Bimbette texted Peaches "Windows @ home, frozen - what should I do?"

GIVE A MAN A FISH

Give a man a fish

HAVING + 1 CHANNELS

If you are going to have + 1 channels

HE WAS FED UP WITH HIS DEVICE

He was fed up with his device

HELLO

On the omnibus or railway train Sea going vessels or airplane Sat dining with friends in bistros Or dancing in the dark at discos No matter where you might be Just remember this and mark me

HERE IS AN INTERESTING FACT

Here is an interesting fact

I BOUGHT A SECOND HAND PHONE

I bought a second hand phone
1 likes

I DON’T GO ON TWITTER

I don’t go on Twitter

I GOT A TABLET FOR MY BIRTHDAY

I got a Tablet for my Birthday
1 likes

I LOVE FOOT PUMPS

I love foot pumps
1 likes

I SOLD THE VACUUM CLEANER

I sold the vacuum cleaner

I THINK GOOGLE IS A WOMAN

I think Google is a woman because

I WENT TO PC WORLD

I went to PC World I saw computers

IF YOU CAN AFFORD TO BUY

If you can afford to buy

IS THE INTERNET A BLESSING OR A CURSE?

Is the internet a blessing or a curse?

IT’S POSSESSED

My Sky Box is on the blink

LIGHT QUESTION

Why is there a light In my fridge geezer

MAIL CALL

I spoke into the envelope

MANY MODERN HOMES NOW

Many modern homes now Have a panic room in it

MOBILE COMMUNICATION

“I want to buy a mobile phone” “No I don’t want a camera Not even video No I don’t want movie down loads Screensaver’s, internet access Or downloads of any kind

MOBILE COMMUNICATION 2013

“I want to buy a mobile phone, No I don’t want a camera, Not even video,

MR & MRS ATM

No need to park your car Before withdrawing your money There is now a drive through ATM For people in a hurry

MY COMPUTER IS LIKE

My computer is like

MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS SHE’S MIDDLE CLASS

My girlfriend says she’s middle class And I laugh in her face

MY GRANDDADS NOT VERY TECH SAVVY

My granddads not very tech savvy

MY GRANDSON IS ALWAYS ON HIS PHONE

My grandson is always on his phone
1 likes

MY IPHONE IS FROZEN

My iPhone is frozen My Mac is deceased

MY SISTER WORKS IN THE IT DEPARTMENT

My sister works in the IT department

MY SON HAS AN IPOD

My son has an iPod

ON MY BED AT HOME # 1

On my bed at home I have

ON THE ROOF

Two lonely aerials meet on a roof and start to date

PHYSICS QUESTIONS

Physicists pose important questions Beneath the Swiss mountain slopes

PODS

Every one loves an iPod A w x and y Pod

SAY?

I saw a photo of a wheel of Stilton

SHOP PC

I went shopping in

TECHNO

BRIGHT SPARK If we didn't have electricity All right We would all be watching TV By candlelight YOUR ERROR An error message is A meaningless sentence Or possibly a phrase

THE INTERNET CAN BE A CURSE AND NOT A BLESSING

The internet can be a curse and not a blessing

THE INTERNET IS A CURSE AND NOT A BLESSING

The internet is a curse and not a blessing

THE INVENTOR OF DENTAL FLOSS

The inventor of dental floss

THE INVENTOR OF THE ALLEN KEY

The inventor of the Allen key

THE PERFECT GIFT

If as a man you feel in life You don’t provide your wife

THE SIMPLE RED ROSE WAS ONCE

The simple red rose was once

THE STRUCTURE THAT TOPS THE LIST

The structure that tops the list,
1 likes

THE TRUTH ABOUT CANDY CRUSH

When I first heard the name mentioned

WHEN I FIRST HEARD ABOUT A SELFIE STICK

When I first heard about a selfie stick

WHEN I LIVED IN MELBOURNE

When I lived in Melbourne

WHEN I PHONE A WOMAN

When I phone a woman And talk dirty to her

WHEN TWO APPLE DEVICES

When two Apple devices

LAST NIGHT I UPDATED

Last night I updated My social media profile

THE TECHNOLOGICAL AGE

The technological age of the