A WORKING LIFE
All work and no play Makes Jack a dull boy All work and no play Makes a life without joy
I think you’ll agree that nothing Motivates a man not to shirk More than to see his boss Putting in an honest day's work
There is only one thing worse than dreaming You’re at a conference and waking from a deep sleep
You never get a second chance To make a first impression I say Well there's a bloke at work I've disliked from his first day Firstly he has the type of face You would never tire of slapping
I am totally unappreciated at work I do a good job but unfortunately I fear
I was driving along the dual carriageway When my boss phoned me
I went to the DIY centre the other day Not as good as the Old hardware shop I was looking for some super glue Having searched in vain I decided to stop I asked a young lad if he could help
It was late summer of 1966 and Grace Weldon was stranded by the side of the road, the old bus had given up the ghost, again. She should have replaced it years before but she couldn’t bring herself to part with it.
Grace walked into the café and sat in a corner booth. It was a fairly dingy looking place but at that moment it was as good as the Savoy.
APPLY CAUTION Potential Employers speak in a certain way And can be strangers to the truth lets say When employers try to advance your career You should read between the lines I fear When employers reply to your application
I don't like tardiness, and in particular, I don't like being late for work though sometimes it just can't be helped. There was one particular morning this last winter
Reconciliation we had hoped we were achieving As we sat around in a silent mood of unforgiving
I worked for the same man for more than twenty years and for most of those years it was like working for a schizophrenic because of his moods swings.
Why is it sound engineers? When there’s a gig to do And they have to test the system
Plumbing holds no secrets If you follow these tips Male always fits into female Even the new push fits To do it up or turn it on Righty, Tighty is the way And to undo or turn off
"We are making your position redundant" was the gist of meeting. There were a few well-placed key words and phrases such as "Revenue down turn"
Have you ever noticed how Even the busiest people now Are never too busy somehow To tell you just exactly how Really busy they are right now
I have just witnessed a terrible sufferer of stress I was just served by the most harassed waitress She came towards us with a tampon behind her ear
In the early eighties I worked behind the bar at a pub in Woking called the Surrey. However it was not named after the county in which it stood but rather the horse drawn carriage as featured in the musical "Oklahoma "the Surrey with the fringe on top.
Don’t make yourself essential Don’t show your full potential Never ever be irreplaceable Or much worse be indispensable For If they cannot replace you They are unlikely to promote you
GO FISH AGAIN The worst day You spend fishing Is better than Your best day working WORK QUERY If work is so terrific So great and so fantastic Tell me then why is it
A professor of linguistics was lecturing one day “In English, a double negative forms a positive” He paused for effect then he continued to say