Golf Carts
By ice rivers
- 870 reads
Way back before the invention of the "hole" the ingredient of "time" was not a huge factor in the game of golf. As a matter of faction, some historians contend that the Punic Wars were in fact nothing but a stylized golf tournamnet played by men with increasingly pointed sticks.
With the advent of miniature golf, driving ranges and par threes, time became an important factor in the activation of a golfer's interest. Five hours a day must be reserved for watching other people's fake lives on television to say nothing of the twelve hours of teevee donated four times a year for the "major tournaments".
On a driving range, time is measured by the bucket. On par threes and miniature golf courses, time is measured by the hole minus, in variable degrees by the integral process of "walking". On equally crowded courses, a par three will take longer to play than a miniature golf course. All of which pale in the comparison to the time needed to play a regulation eighteen.
As time became a bigger and biggger factor, another Einstein came up with the idea of the golf cart. The golf cart is to cars as miniature golf is to regulation golf. Golf carts proved to be a great boon to those who didn't have "time" to play but thought that miniature golf was only for families in which the teenage son kept intentionally hitting the ball off the course and the eye-rolling teenage daughters were bored out of their minds but kind of interested in the starter kid who handed out the balls and the putters at the start of each round.
Needless to say, there was some effort to move golf carts on to the driving range to get from the parking lot to the tee, usually about 25 yards. On the miniature golf course golf carts might be used to get from the parking lot to the starter window to the windmill to the aquarium to the dinosaur. It didn't take long for these ideas to fail.
Thank God
Golf carts are more ideally suited for regulation golf. Golfcarts eliminate "walking" and through this minimization of walking enable golfers to "complete" yheir rounds in much faster times. Golf carts also add the possibility of adding further conveniences/necessities like soft drinks, booze, pizza, magazines, computers, cell phones, television, go pro video recording equipment and weed.
The use of golf carts has minimal effect upon the essential goals, standards and exemplars of the game. If you're a hundred yards from the "green" you probably still need the advantage of a seven iron regardless of whether or not you got to your ball while reading a magazine, smoking a joint, drinking a beer or eating a pizza. The idea remains the same as in all forms of living. Shoot for the important goal of the "green" in pursuit of the essential goal "the hole".
Stay tuned.
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Comments
There's something about golf
There's something about golf wisdom. Hawkeye.
Parson Thru
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