Adverb Angst
By ice rivers
- 1838 reads
Call me Very.
I'm an adverb. I'm angry about that. I'm common. I'm used and abused all the time. I don't even get the complimentary "ly" that some of my mates get. My ancestors had it for awhile when people knew how to talk. Remember "verily" or "yea verily".
Those days are gone.
Now, I have to submit to those fancy pants "ly" adverbs e.g. "very quickly".
"Quickly" at least gets to modify a verb, an action word of some kind, maybe even a passionate action like "kissed". Then I arrive. I diminish the kiss by making it even less soul driven, less selfless, less sensual, more furtive, dismissive and distracted.
See, I hate situations like that. I'm jealous of "quickly" who's nothing but a verblicking sycophant passing himself off as an expression of time.
It's a bit more tolerable when I submit to an adjective. At least an adjective bows to a person, place, idea or thing; tangible, usually visible, often alive, occasionally intelligent almost always miraculous.
Action verbs are my cup of tea but let's face it action verbs ain't exactly nouns. Action verbs need nouns to give them meaning. Nouns don't need action verbs they can exist quite well lthank you on verbs of being. After all, what is a human but "being".
Even when modifying an action verb I usually need an "ly" to make any sense
I am uncomfortable modifying verbs of being. "very are" won't cut it. Neither will "very is", "very was" nor wishes neither not v"very could" or "very would".
Speaking of the subjunctive, I wish i was more existential. Hell I'm barely essential. I'm actually an add on although ever since teehee came along and people forgot how to talk, a lot more "very" are in use today.
I'm designated Very Mask Neg Neutral which means I am the very that can be only used to describe Masculine Negative to Neutral Adjectives, verbs or other adverbs such as
cumbersome
lethargic
immature
uncommunicative
incompetent
self-absorbed
smarmy
frantically
and sloppy
Making them each a little worse.
My girlfriend is also an add on. She's a Very designated Fem Neg Neutral. She gets to work with feminine negative to neutral adjectives, verbs such as
bitchy
bloated
perfunctory
over-sensitive
Superficial
Moody
Slutty
Vengeful
and air headed.
The classes above us are Very Mask Positive And Fem Positive. They work with
courageous
dedicated
authentic
Athletic
Intelligent
Capable
gorgeous
resplendent
intuitive
sensual
supportive
nurturing
and erotic
Do you see why I'm upset? Very upset.
They'll terminate us low class adverbs when and if we stop being over used. When and if people stop watching teevee and texting. When and if people start articulating and valuing vocabulary rather than gloss.
In other words, we'll be around a long time.
A very long time.
Some of the higher class verbs were even used as adjectives for a bright, shining, glossy time as in "She is soooo very"
I once had to modify a very Pompous adjective, negative implication of course as in "He's very, VERY"
Thank God that particular trend, that monstrosity has retreated for awhile.
My woman, Very Fem Neg Neutral has a real bad attitude. She gets it from her job. Look what she works with bitchy, boated, hyper-critical etc. Still between my anger and her attitude we still managed to get busy and have babies. Our babies are the "kindas". They're even more inarticulate than my woman and me.
I'm kinda afraid. Kindas are the adverbs of the future.
I am very kinda afraid.
- Log in to post comments
Comments
Clever and funny, a most
Clever and funny, a most enjoyable read.
- Log in to post comments
Loved this. Poor old Very.
Loved this. Poor old Very. I have this terrible dream, sometimes, where I'm confronted by the population of the future gabbling 'So jus' lit'rally very kinda like y'know' as they drive skewers into my ears.
- Log in to post comments
very good but very very
very good but very very puzzling. Aren't you are a modifying adjective that doesn't know it's place? Yours, 'pretty' vacant.
- Log in to post comments