Why God Invented Carts
By ice rivers
Deke, Crown and I have done a lot together.
We did the great American road trip in my truck from the Atlantic to the Pacific. We camped out almost every night under the stars down by the river.
We visited the Ponderosa Ranch in Nevada and got drunk in the saloon where the Cartwrights drank.
We played blackjack every day and learned to count cards only to lose everything one endless night in Lake Tahoe.
We got kicked out of Candlestick Park.
We've been to the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness and the Belmont.
We've chilled with Muhammad Ali.
We've been through births, deaths, wedding, divorces, sickness, health and every stop in between.
We've climbed mountains and worked on Horse farms.
When Crown was an MP, he arrested Jane Fonda.
Deke got married at Graceland
Deke and Crown were there the night that Pete Rose broke the record for all time hits.
Crown and I saw Secretariat win at Belmont.
Deke helped my dying father into the ambulance in which he died.
Crown had a heart attack at the Kentucky Derby and since then has had colon cancer and open heart surgery.
Nobody can plank like Deke.
One thing we had never done before is play golf.
Two years ago, it looked like Crown wasn't going to survive his illnesses.
Last year, I had my moments of doubt.
Deke is the youngest of us and still is in great shape.
He doesn't owe anybody anything. Everything is paid up. His house. His car. His college loans. His credit cards. Everything.
So we've lived this great life together but until yesterday we had never played golf together.
Deke hadn't lifted a club in 10 years.
Crown, like me, played only 27 holes last year.
I can't lift the ball out of the hole anymore which explains why I NEVER miss a five foot putt.
Crown can't get the ball out of the hole either. At least he thought he couldn't. Yesterday on the third hole, he reached down and plucked it out.
Way to go, Johnny
Now, because Deke is still flexible enough to pick the ball up out of the hole, we had no excuse to take gimmes on any putt. That killed us as we missed one five footer after another over and over and over and over ad museum.
We played amazingly from tee to green and from a distance might have passed as younger men but when we got on the green......fuggedaboudid.
Of course we used carts as this is the reason that God invented them.
The sky was blue, the clouds beautiful. We talked about life. We laughed. We rejoiced. We remembered. We were present with our eyes on the ball.
It was worth the wait.