Wild Bill From Babylon
By ice rivers
I'm starting to wonder how long I will last. I'm already older than I deserve to be; based on the way that I've conducted my life. I want to give credit before I go to people who should already be famous if they gave a shit for fame.
One of those people is my friend Wild Bill. We've been buddies for over fifty years. I asked him to be my daughter's Godfather. I couldn't have made a better choice. I haven't spoken to Amanda for at least five years but Wild Bill has and he tells me she's nice.
Wild Bill will never be married but to this day he carries ten rubbers in his wallet on his never ending quest to "get laid". Ya gotta love guys like that.
Sometimes he does, God bless them.
He's always having misadventures with cops maybe because of the dozens of messages on his car, the latest being FUCK DONALD TRUMP.
We pissed, side by side, into Walden Pond.
Sitting shotgun with Bill is a shit your pants experience.
He's seen the Dead fifty times at least. He had a conversation with George Harrison. Nowadays, Bill's the oldest man at every concert and the most energized.
Nobody dances like Wild Bill.
He was a friend of Bobby Vee.
He's a roller coaster fanatic.
I've seen him punch a taxi cab driver on Fifth Avenue.
I watched him piss on Julius Erving's car.
He's got season tickets for both the Yankees and the Mets.
He cried when he heard that my mother died.
He sends birthday cards to all of his friends even though none of us have the slightest idea when His birthday arrives.
He's a master of trivia, an expert on the Bobby Fuller Four.
He's the last of the great mooners.
He gets along with dogs
He's got my back.
He should be a movie if he gave a shit.
He's Wild Bill from Babylon.
I could go on and on and on