Darien Lake Flashback (heaven part 4)
By ice rivers
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Times of indecision.
We had both already been married. We both carried the scars.
We had met one enchanted evening when she walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to dance.
The first song we danced to was “Hurt so Good”....John Mellencamp.
The second was “Loving You” by Elvis.
The third was “It’s All in the Game” by Tommy Edwards. When Tommy was about to sing the words “then he’ll kiss your lips” I decided to take the chance.
I kissed her lips. She kissed me back
We had been together every day since and it was going on two years. Two wonderful years. Time to clarify.
Lynn made a decision.
She said we should get married at the local justice of the peace.
She called it to question, one afternoon when we were having lunch at Mario's on East Avenue our favorite Italian restaurant.
Justice of the peace was no place for me or for us as far as I was concerned.
She took it as a rejection of her love which was the opposite of my intention
For the first time, we began to wonder about the future of the relationship.
Yet, we had booked a trailer for a weekend at Darien Lake. We decided to make the trip.
We had a couple of our kids with us.
They were having a lot more fun than we were. They were outside the trailer when Lynn handed me a tiny article from the Democrat and Chronicle.
The article said “The Field of Dreams is a real place.”
All of a sudden it was clear to me.
I am a person of intuition which means I have a tendency to say out loud exactly what is flashing through my mind at the exact time that it flashes.
The flash came on.
“ Hey Lynn, If we were ever to get married, it would have to be at the most beautiful place in America. Our love deserves it. If you’re willing to travel to Iowa and if we can find this place and if it's real we could get married on the spot....right at home plate.”
She made a face that I couldn't decipher so I didn't take it as a rejection.
Then she said "Great idea. I'll call up Iowa and tell them we need a marriage license to get married at an imaginary place at an undetermined time."
I found out later that she thought I was nuts and bullshitting her at the same time.
We had seen the movie together earlier in the year. we both thought it was great. In one scene, Kevin Costner (Ray Kinsella) asked his wife Amy Madigan “is this heaven or is this Iowa” as they relaxed one starry evening on the diamond that he had carved into his cornfield.
The location was so exquisite that I thought perhaps it was the most beautiful place I had ever seen.
This was the place for us.
Plus we would give the relationship the test....a test that I firmly believed had to be taken by any couple in the tentative situation that we occupied.
The road test.
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Comments
Great. I like the fact you've
Great. I like the fact you've chosen a non-chronological structure to tell the story. This piece drops in nicely. Make that first scene pack a real punch. This one brings the reader into the fireside. Can you give us more about the characters? Don't forget to keep the prose tight. Contractions, direct punchy statements. Short bursts into the target.
Parson Thru
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Hi ice rivers. Contractions
Hi ice rivers. Contractions are just where we reduce (usually auxiliary verbs) from "I would" to "I'd" etc. She is - she's.
In direct speech it sounds more natural as it's how we tend to speak, in narrative writing it's more relaxed and intimate - draws the reader in.
I don't know "Field of Dreams". I'm not a movie buff, but there might be lots like me who don't know it and might not make the links or pick up the allusions.
If you're posting your very early drafts as they come to you, maybe give them another edit before posting to make the story itself more accessible for people to follow.
Parson Thru
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