Garbage Disposal

Gold cherry

By Gothicman

Thu, 14 May 2020
  • 1653 reads
14 comments
 

Kids! Do not try this at home!
Jacob Rees-Mogg used to look like
Eric Pickles.....apparently.

        

Connecting his brain 
to his gaming computer 
using a beanie electrode skull cap
with an oozbee t'other end, 
to his astonishment, 
four new HDDs appeared in Disk Management: 
Stem, Cerebellum, Limbic, Cortex, 
and a FDD labelled: motivation? 

Ignoring Total Loss warnings, 
he formatted Cortex,
marking all sneaked-in garbage 
from parents, teachers, church, CIA, et al.
changing FAT 32 to THIN 64, 
as an extra, see-what-happens bonus! 

Confirming Enter twice, 
an enormous load left his mind; 
clicking Defrag, and Trim, 
cleansed off eighteen stones more, 
his underpants and cap dropping loose 
as his bum and head became 
frighteningly elongated! 

In this state of panic, 
he carelessly snatched out the oozbee 
before safe pausing 5v power, 
the floppy disk icon flashed red, 
and his dick went limp! 

With cyber-porn no longer 
an edifying pastime, 
and intelligence deleted, 
his only option was to find a job 
as politician!

 

 

Oozbee is nerd for USB connector
Warning: Use exFAT, not THIN 64! 

Certificate 18
Other
Fantasy

Comments

Submitted by littleditty on

Clever and funny..its perfect as is...so much so i want a whole novel of it! Enjoyed.

 

Submitted by Gothicman on

Thanks Ld, a bit of fun to lighten the human spirit under siege!
Goth 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

Funny!

 

Submitted by Gothicman on

Thanks, meant to be taken lightheartedly.
Best, Goth.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hello Trevor. I quite enjoyed this computer/software verbiage and as an often baffled user of Microsoft I cam appreciate the humour. I also understand that you mean the piece to be a metaphor for the actions of an incompetent politician - a sort of garbage-in, garbage-out situation - and your prefix seem to infer that Jacob Rees Mogg (not Reece btw) is the individual in question. To a person like me - an ignoramus regarding politics - the reference doesn't make sense. First of all I don't know who Fred Pickles is or was, secondly the relevance between his likeness to JRM and the poem escapes me. Either you should be more specific by quoting a headline or a reported fact to illustrate the introduction or cut it out altogether.
A small point, on the third line shouldn't it be a beanie and not an beanie?

Best wishes from a confused Luigi.

 

 

Submitted by Gothicman on

No, Luigi, you're taking it all too seriously, just a play on computer terms really, no general metaphor intended, too zany for that, even if a message that's intrinsic, for most with all that the poor electorate has had to be witness to lately, even implied!
Yes, you're right, should be Eric, Rees, and 'a', thanks duly corrected.
For the record, I like and respect both JRM and EP, and am confident they wouldn't be at all offended if they read this bit of fun. I hope this has cleared the confusion, now errors corrected. Politicians named only chosen as JRM is particularly elongated, and EP wide-girthed, in appearance!
Cheers, Trevor

Addendum: JRM has 6 kids so flash damage short-lived!

 

Submitted by onemorething on

Ha. This makes me think of a political interview yesterday where it was reported that a Tory MP said that Keir Starmer was coming across a bit of a 'know it all' or words to that effect which made me laugh as, of course, we do indeed live in an age where stupidity seems preferable in some quarters. Enjoyed. 

 

Submitted by Gothicman on

Yes, we do. It's the insistence of MPs to want to keep on polarising all issues and try to win political, often own ego, points when discussing anything, that goads me, when most of the time in any other circumstances, there would be sensible support and agreement, it delays progress, and is destructive and tedious. They should be more honest and consequent with their real views. They're all intelligent people who know that most pressing issues are not about opinion! Social Democracy, and my taxes kept minimal, that's all we need! lol! Thanks Rachel, got that off my chest! Hahaha!
Elongated Trevor

You removed your last sub?

 

Submitted by sean mcnulty on

This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day.

 

Submitted by Gothicman on

Thank you for that Sean, I feel very chuffed and honoured!

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Well done Trevor. yes

Best, Luigi

 

Submitted by Gothicman on

Thanks Luigi! Trevor no

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Lovely pun. Really enjoyed it. :)

Parson Thru

Submitted by Gothicman on

Thanks Parson Thru (what a great user name!) If you see any Digital Beanie Skull Caps on Alibaba, they won't work, like their face masks and other opportune cons! Thanks again, glad it amused you, all good fun.
Best, Goth