Blackbeard's Nephew

Blackbeard’s nephew Colin Finch

Had never set sail aboard a ship,

Had never felt the salt sea wind in his hair

But lived in Luton with his girl friend Clare.

He worked in a Supermarket part time

And brewed his own Beer as not a fan of wine;

Whilst Blackbeard pillaged the Spanish Maine

Colin preferred to fly to Spain on a plane.

They never met but the occasional card

Would find its way to continents far

So when it was time for the knot to be tied

Colin and Clare had a lovely surprise.

There at the Church as the Bride walked in

To the sound of the rising organ din

Small fireworks began to fly from the face

Of Blackbeard himself who’d snuck into the place.

Colin’s mum who’d gone quite red

Was chuffed to see her brother Ted

And soon the wedding was commenced

And Colin and Clare at last were wed.

As the bride and groom danced the first dance

To the sound of Chris de Burgh murdering romance

Blackbeard thought of his girl friend Tess

And how she’d look in a pretty red dress.

Years have passed and Blackbeard’s been hung

For his Piracy exploits and other such fun

Whilst Colin and Clare have moved to Southend

That’s on the Coast, well, the end of the Thames.