Insidious

Gold cherry
Poem of the week
Pick of the Month

By TJW

Thu, 25 Aug 2022
  • 1572 reads
22 comments
 

Slowly

   gradually

     ultimately

Insidious

   Casual conversation like 

the casualties of war as 

   we're humming along in our 

   humvee

   our 

High 

  mobility

    multipurpose

     wheeled 

       vehicle

And the conversation turns lyrical;

it's a miracle

   we ain't dead 

   having hummed along this phase 

   line

   so many times;

manned a road block a few times more:

   Shoot the road

     the fender 

      hood

      the driver 

Three strikes and you're out 

   Eight dead drivers in one tour 

     The road fender hood 

        driver

Slowly

  gradually 

    ultimately 

      insidious

Ridiculous

   that we ain't dead

not by a shot in the head or body mass 

   but from a massive blast 

       of thermal heat;

you never land on your feet 

   but on your back, 

    blasted from your seat in the

   high 

     mobility

       multipurpose

       wheeled 

         vehicle

Brain-rattled 

Skull-smacked

    Back  damn-near busted 

       by the explosive 

       improvised 

       attack 

Don't remember the blast 

   but its aftermath; 

came 

   slowly

     gradually

        ultimately

while humming along that goddamn

   phase line: 

Heard it all the time: 

   improvised

     explosive 

       device: 

sounds like a high school science project

   but it will eject

   the body from the vehicle

   and nothing short of a miracle

   will prevent the thermal burns 

     the rattle

      the smack 

       the bust:

Damaged by war lust,

   by that which is

     slow 

      gradual

        ultimate

Insidious 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Certificate 18
Poem
Other Non-fiction

Comments

Submitted by celticman on

insidious indeed. It hold true the torture of you. and others like you. War. does that. We do that.  

 

Submitted by Di_Hard on

That is the most raw, strong, true powerful poem I have read for years

 

Submitted by Frances Macaula... on

Lots to consider... the spacing invites the reader to imagine sitting in the Humvee - bumping along at high speed through fields and tracks. Well done - certainly cherry-worthy.

Soundcloud:  https://soundcloud.com/search?q=FrancesMF

Submitted by airyfairy on

I admire the poetry so much, I also admire the spirit that can revisit the situation and make poetry out of it. This is very special writing.

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

A very powerful piece. Lovely to see you back again!

 

Submitted by airyfairy on

This stunning poem is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day. Please do share/retweet if you find it as moving as I do.

Picture copyright free from Wikimedia Commons https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Aerial_firework_bursting_charge.jpg

Submitted by airyfairy on

This is also our Poem of the Week - congratulations!

Submitted by Di_Hard on

brilliant choice, keep thinking about this, the dual meaning. After reading this, no one could ever believe "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" Because it comes from someone who knows

 

Submitted by TJW on

Don't really know what to say except thank you for the compliments, the cherries.  Maybe I should frame the receipt I wrote this on.  

V/R 

TJ

 

 

 

Submitted by Mark Burrow on

Brilliant poem. 

 

Submitted by lenchenelf on

right there, right now: takes us to a place none would be.

Well considered, layout works to heighten tension

best

Lena x

 

Submitted by TJW on

Much obliged, Mark.

Lena: 'kin 'ell?  and appreciate your time.

 

Submitted by Mark Say on

I love the way you build the tension through those single word beats.

 

Submitted by TJW on

Appreciate your time and comment.  The beat was harder to achieve than the words.

V/R 

TJ

 

 

 

Submitted by Ewan on

I liked this very much indeed.

Incidentally, did you know that "insidia" is Latin for ambush? Catullus takes the piss out of someone for pronouncing it "hinsidia" in a poem written over 2000 years ago. It's like an uneducated, but pretentious English person pronouncing "ambush" as "hambush".

Well, that's enough waffle from me.
Congratutlations on the richly deserved accolades.

 

Ewan

Gibbous House:  Ewan's 1st Novel No Good Deed :  Ewan's 2nd Novel At the Back of the North Wind Ewan's 3rd Novel
 

Submitted by TJW on

I got a thing for Latin.  A commercial for some insurance company was on t.v. the other day and the spokesman said such-and-such minimums may apply.  It's minima, just like agenda is plural so I don't understand why people ask my agenda for the day.  I only have an agendum for this day.  Now that's enough waffle from me.  Much obliged for your time.

 

V/R 

TJ

 

 

Submitted by jeand on

Gosh Jack

 

WELL DONE.  I thought the poem demonstarated how your situation affected you - for maybe 2 decades already  I expect you relive it every day.  So what else have you been doing besides writing wonderful poetry

 

 

 

Jean Day

Submitted by ice rivers on

This one stops the clock.....Pretty much impossible to say more with less.....in other words this piece kicks ass and takes names...add my name to the list of those moved by this succint explosion of sound and fury. 

 

Submitted by TJW on

little jeannie,

nearly two decades, that's right, since 2004.  Ain't been up to much.  Working, taking care of the babies, making regular maintenance on my car, placating a resentful ex, trying to perfect my spaghetti (when the noodles are cooked right, the sauce fails or the other way around), reading, maintaining a moustache, staying STRAC at the shooting range, keeping my hands to myself, trying to figure out why the rabbit keeps tossing his food bowl (damn it, Buddha!), stocking up on hurricane supplies, getting ready for the regular football season, waiting for the tarantula to molt, paying bills, aggravating my VA counselor, exchanging waves with a stranger when she walks down my street while I 'm outside having a smoke, you know, just living.  You do the same.

Jack

 

Submitted by TJW on

Yo, ice,

If you can write a comment like that how can you doubt if you're a writer?  Keep at it, my friend.

Jack

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Month - Congratulations!

 

Submitted by TJW on

Tango Mike with a cherry on top.

V/R 

TJ