Draft Letter

(Apparently he is reading all his mail from the outside world)

Mr J Archer
Prison

Dear Mr Archer,

I recently purchased and read the first installment of your prison diaries which I enjoyed immensly, to my suprise I add, because I think your novels are crap.

The way in which you have conveyed the harsh reality of your incarceration in Belmarsh has filled me with a mild sense of horror. I hope that your next diaries, due to be published next year do not become bland and flavourless because of your move to a comparable luxurious open prison. If this is the case, perhaps I could advise you to break some more rules so that you stay in the horrible prison, which will no doubt saturate your heart and prose, with grim and harsh reality of the modern penitential system.

My friends think I'm only saying your book is great because I like you am devious entrepeneurial and a member of the conservative party, but that is not true. It really is great and so are you.

Finally I am enclosing some poetry, of my own making for your entertainment.

With Kind Regards

Jude Eydmann