Don't Attack Iraq

Edgar's was on the blower again during the night, courtesy of a Marisat link-up. He's apparently on a little boat somewhere in the Gulf, going behind Saddam's lines daily with the top secret Johnnies.

He's knocked his drinking on the head so he's a bit more lucid. He's also made great strides with his drug intake. He's only using the keepie-uppie goofballs the military gives him and says he gets five times as high.

Anyway, enigmatic as ever, he pronounced in very serious and ponderous tones, "WHEN THE SMOKE ARISES FROM THE OILFIELDS, DON'T DIGNIFY THE PRIVILEGED NINNIES' ATTACKS WITH COUNTER MEASURES"

I think it's a pretty deep code so I have passed it on to the spooks. Got the distinct impression they had been listening to us anyway.

I shall watch the papers for imminent developments in the theatre of war.