How To Write on the Internet

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Anonymous
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How To Write on the Internet

Don't click on this link if you are offended by swearing:

http://www.guidenet.net/resources/wanker.html

I enjoyed this. Although for some odd reason, sometimes I pluralise with an apostrophe. I do know the rules of grammar and I am not a (complete) fuckwit. It is due to rushing and not reading over before pressing that 'submit' button! Most of this is laughably true!

 

Enzo v2.0
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I was originally going to post this as a response to 'what do I need to do to get a cherry' (from another thread somewhere), as a joke, but thought it might be taken the wrong way. Yeah, it's not a bad little piece.
Claim False Credentials. If you're discussing copyright law, claim to be a copyright lawyer. If you're arguing about tobacco's effects on one's health, claim to be a doctor. (No matter what, claim to be a s00per 31337 h4x0r d00d: that always goes over well.) Refuse to provide any substantiating evidence, and for bonus points, grossly misuse jargon. I love that bit. It's so true.
"Make Stupid Threats. When someone takes issue with your writing, never fail to make dark h4x0rly threats about '0wn1ng' their computer. Tell them you'll "hack into their box", plant terrorist plans and child pornography, and tip off the FBI. (This works especially well if they live in Europe.) Tell them that you and "your friends" (yeah, right) will come by and "bust a cap in [their] ass". (This works really well if you're on different continents.)" Didn't you like that bit, cath_carr?
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