Bob and Dwayne - Astronauts

Thanks Liana. I wrote this one after reading d. beswetherick's Novelty Bet. I liked the structure - lots of short sections of dialogue. So I copied it a bit. Thanks d.!!! (btw Liana, I bought Cosmic Banditos this week - I will read it on holiday and let you know what I think.)

excellent!! going anywhere nice?

Sitges - near Barcelona. Leave on Sunday. No more train times for a week and a half. My job is sooo boring. I get the jobs paper regularly but it's depressing cause I have no skills needed. But enough whinging. I'm off to work. (ABC is my little sea of sanity before work every morning.)

You wont need a job soon, when Darts makes you a million. have a brilliant time...

Loved it...reminds me a little of T. Corghassen Boyle (or however the hell you spell his name) in his early years. Good mass consumerism references...an intimate look at the Virgin Britney...a cameo by David Duchovny...feeling gorgeous a la Jane "Barbarella" Fonda (I can relate to that...who can't?). My only advice: Add a shower to the space ship. I've tent-camped in the desert before, and the only thing I got intimate with were the scorpions. Nice job :)

...or some kind of electronic shower that has a funny side-effect... hmmm?

made me laugh like a drain. thanks, Drew!

some beautiful and unexpected moments. I laughed in all the right places. I felt some of the film references were a bit overdone and needed to fit in to the future more but other than that it was great. I've been discussing the use of "he said" and "said ****" in fiction and I've discovered that I tend to shy away from it a bit too much. This is a great example of plenty of "Said Bob" and "Said Dwayne" but, because of the space and the pace, it rolls well. there is a 'Wallace and Gromit' feel to it and a silly current that keeps it warm and light.

Thank you for the comments - it is difficult to fit film references into the future becuase future films haven't been made yet. I'll update it as time passes!! Wallace and Gromit was what I was aiming for so thanks for that. Liana, where exactly is this future million coming from???? Is it gunna be soon!!! And justyn I like the idea of an electronic shower - i might slip it in.

HAHAHAHHAHA

ooh dear i am sorry... that last post did amuse me.. i get more frankie howerd the older i get how fab, I woke up to a great laugh, and am now off to sleep after another. cheers drew.

Sorry Drew, of course, I realize that but I meant you could create films that have yet to be released..."Titanic 4, disaster in Space" " Rocky 37" "The Leakiest Wink, the day Anne Robinson cried" or completely unheard of titles. It's was just that all the films referred to came from the same period in history from the perspective of the character. I almost expected Dwayne to say, "Hey Bob, haven't you watched anything since 2003?"

Actually, I'd stick with the films you used. One, they're "obscure" enough that they work (I mean, really, Barbarella...?), but two, this story isn't that far into the future, so it's conceivable the character would have seen them while still giving us a nostalgic feel. Also, along with the nasty consumerism, the films you used help the reader connect with the "old" time period. That's my two cents, anyway.

Yes, I think you have a point. I was aware the films were all of a period. Bob worked in a drive-in movie threatre so I could mention that it was retro movies. (By the way, I wanted Bob to work in a drive-thru movie theatre but I changed that) And Barbarella isn't obscure, is it??? It's an all-time classic. I guess I know it from Duran Duran (oh my god are they obscure too) and Kylie's take on it during her deconstruction period. (Deconstruction the record label - not deconstruction the literary theory that is.)

No, Barbarella's not obscure. I just meant it in the sense that for the time setting of your story, it could be. Plus, you need to keep the Barbarella reference as a foil to Britney Spears' newfound feminism...old Jane essentially went through the same process herself.

Now you're scaring me Allen, this whole Fonda/Britney foil thing is starting to freak me out.

Well, I'm bored. What can I say?

Of course, if the country was destroyed by a nuclear terrorist attack, there wouldn't be any subsequent films coming from there, would there? Logic, after all.

it's a good point well put.

I just thought his glasses must have got blown up, thus limiting his enjoyment of recent releases. I do kind of agree with the first sentence of Eli's first comment, though I did enjoy the gentleness of the satire.