My Girlfriend Cheated on me, so I Cut her Tits Off

My girlfriend cheated on me, so I cut

her tits off. Then I threw them in a lake

where maybe a voracious water-snake

will eat them. Or a peckish halibut.

Ha ha ha ha! No longer will she strut

and swagger all around the town and slake

her thirst for cock and cause men’s hearts to break,

now that flat chest is flatter still, the slut!

Take that, Theresa May! Take that, Christine

Lagarde, Indira Gandhi, Janet Yellen,

Angela Merkel, Margaret Thatcher, the Queen

and every vile vagina-wielding felon

who rules a company or bank or party!

This is a blow against the matriarchy!

© Alfie Shoyger