Tim’s Cat
By Alfie Shoyger
- 1311 reads
I once knew a locksmith called Timothy
whose cat was a lardy behemoth, he
scoffed rats till he threw up.
I forget where Tim grew up,
his accent was Cornish or Plymouthy.
Tim fed his cat minced beef and onion
pasties and cider for luncheon.
He lapped up that scrumpy
then, like Humpty Dumpty,
went “wallop!” in drunken malfunction,
so the table and chairs would all rock a lot
like the house had been seized in a Hottentot
or Zulu uprising,
which isn’t surprising,
that brute was the size of an ocelot.
- Log in to post comments
Comments
Brilliant, Alfie. But
Brilliant, Alfie. But "Plymouthy"? :)
That one is a strong candidate for a rhyme of the year award, but I'm not sure which one. I've just shut my laptop down after trying to force something into versified form for the last two hours. Maybe you hear it in meter and rhyme before it ever hits the page, or stick it in prose or free verse.
I love the humour in these stanzas though. And it's true, it wouldn't have half the effect without the Limerick form. You can hear the two raps on the bass drum at the end. I'm still laughing at luncheon and drunken malfunction. Great.
Parson Thru
- Log in to post comments
I remember hearing about some
I remember hearing about some research that said people's brains lit up when they heard rhythm and rhyme. I think your head would probably explode whatever measuring device they used. How do you come up with behemoth, he????
- Log in to post comments
Do you not feel this is
Do you not feel this is changing? There's been spoken word stuff on Poetry Please. Publishers will go where the money is. Just like record companies realised there was more to music than classical. If you're going to spend money on something you have to LIKE it, unless you're a complete wally. And people LIKE rhymes. The trouble is it's hard to do them as well as you, Alfie. I've no idea how you get your rhythm to work so well so the stresses are in the right place. Your writing every word shines like you've chosen it specially, no cement filler holding it together. I don't agree with your politics but I'm in awe of your skill. Maybe it's because you're not trying to please publishers that they have not snapped you up.
- Log in to post comments
Arg this is where you need
Arg this is where you need someone better informed than me.
Carol Ann Duffy's Prayer is rhyming. I'm sure I've heard it come up as the nation's favourite poem. It's not the rhyming, I think it's the attitude. Like a rapper trying to get a gig at the Opera House. Tennyson and Kipling were part of the Establishment. Who is it that you want to read your poems? Are they the sort of people who buy poetry magazines or read the Guardian? They might not be ready, they might never be ready. That's not your fault. You need to stop chasing the readymade and get yourself a bespoke audience :0)
- Log in to post comments
https://www.theguardian.com
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/feb/07/loneliness-working...
"...Because stories of “the streets” now tend to come from post-colonial voices, such as Zadie Smith, Courttia Newland, Andrea Levy, Monica Ali and Hanif Kureishi. Their narratives explore multiple identities – ethnic, religious, cultural. These explorations may include class identity, but it is unlikely to be a primary concern.
The politics of identity has replaced the politics of class. Thus “working-class” writing has come to mean little more than “white” writing. Perhaps this is one of the reasons for its fading from view. Because if “working-class” writing is “white” writing, perhaps we are making some kind of a dubious statement in seeking it out, either as publishers or consumers.
This doesn’t, however, answer the question of why working-class writers have been so much less successful ... when the literature of the commonplace is still so alive in Scotland (other than Jackie Kay, incidentally, writers from ethnic minorities are in short supply north of the border)." Tim Lott in the Guardian
If this is the case, you MUST find a new way to reach your audience. Just like Donald Trump had to find a new way to reach his? Not saying you are like Donald Trump. But I know you would not like to be referred to Jeremy Corbyn :0) I hope you find the success you are looking for and deserve
- Log in to post comments