Policing Downshire in the Noughties – A Leisurely Start to the Day
Trevor Beardsmore was a local builder, as was his father before him, and he had a very good reputation and could pick and choose what work he would do.
He also had a reputation as a vehement anti smoker who had never indulged himself and treated anyone who had like a social leper, he had even been known to turn down lucrative work because the clients were heavy smokers, he was in short, obsessive and a bigot.
Bill stood on the patio watching Trevor re-pointing the north-facing wall of Bill’s house, when Sally came through the French doors holding a tray with two mugs of coffee and a plate of biscuits.
“Come and get your coffee Trevor” Sally said.
“Ok” Trevor answered and climbed down the ladder to join them.
He then sat down and took out a small decorous snuff box and took a pinch up each nostril and sneezed loudly.
Bill woke suddenly at the sound of a commotion, damn those smoking related dreams they were really beginning to get on his nerves.
“For god’s sake Danny why do you always have to do that?” Shouted Abi as he started down the stairs.
“Get a life” Danny yelled continuing down the stairs.
“What on earth is going on?” Bill interrupted stepping on to the landing.
“Its Danny he’s left his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, none of the towels are hung up and he left the toilet seat up again”
“What is it with women and bloody toilet seats?” He asked.
“Learn to work the bloody toilet seat Abi, you're a big girl, if it's up and you need it down, put it down”
She was about to protest.
“I will deal with Danny” He said putting his hand up to stop her, she turned on her heals and went into her room slamming the door behind her.
By the time she had realized that her dramatic exit had taken her into her bedroom and not the bathroom it was too late, Bill had beaten her to it.
He quickly headed into the bathroom and ran himself a bath and had a long leisurely soak.
There was in his humble opinion nothing quite like wallowing in your own filth for half an hour, he thought showers were all very convenient and time saving but he couldn’t relax in a shower and even the sound of Abi banging doors and moaning to Sally would not spoil his enjoyment.
Ordinarily he didn’t have time for a bath in the morning and he would have to make do with a shower, but that morning Tom Adamson was picking him up and they were driving over to Millmoor to interview the cashier of big Cyril’s Betting shop, so he was making the most of it.
Having finished his leisurely ablutions Bill put his dressing gown on and opened the door and was almost knocked off his feet as Abi came rushing in from the opposite direction.
“I thought you were never coming out” she said crossly.
“What’s the rush? Where are you off to today anyway?” He asked
“I’m going shopping this afternoon with Yvonne and Carrie”
“So, what’s the rush you have all morning to get ready?” he pointed out
“You don’t just turn up and shop you know? There’s a lot more to it than that.”
“Abi, Shopping is NOT a sport.” Bill said. “Shopping is just shopping.”
“Oh, you are such a man.” Abi said looking down her nose at him before closing the door.