Tales from the Finchbottom Vale – (05) Plain Sailing (Part 05) Sunday
On Sunday morning the dawn chorus was deafening, at least it was to Victoria, it also hurt her head.
Although dawn had broken, the room was still in semi darkness due to the heavy drapes.
She opened her eyes wide and focussed on the glass shade on the ceiling light then she thought
“I don’t have a glass shade”
So she tried to figure out where the hell she was and who the owner of the glass shade was.
Firstly she lifted up the duvet and inspected its contents and was relieved to see that she was fully clothed, and was still wearing the hideous bridesmaid’s dress.
At least she hadn’t ended up in someone’s bed, she had never let herself down like that before and she was relieved to discover her perfect record was intact.
As she tried desperately to identify some point of reference in the room, she became aware of some very loud snoring, and she feared the worse.
She had gone back to a man’s house and was incapable of doing anything, which was possibly even more embarrassing.
She slowly turned her head towards the source of the snoring and said
She was relieved see that it was Nerissa laying on the other sofa, head back, mouth open, and snoring like a pig.
Then she worried if she had turned lesbian overnight but she thought that highly unlikely and besides Nerissa was fully clothed as well.
So feeling reassured that there had been no funny business she returned her attention to where the hell she was.
The problem is that the brain processes what you can see and then fills in the blanks with things from your memory bank.
I.e. when your eyes become more accustomed to the darkness a sleeping dog on the floor becomes a dressing gown discarded the night before, or a sleeping child on the chair becomes a sweater dropped haphazardly.
Victoria was still struggling to identify any point of reference that would identify her location but to no avail so she lifted her head to get a better look.
“Ow” she exclaimed and it all came flooding back to her, the party, the free bar, the walk and Jeff’s cottage and then the passing out.
“Oh God how embarrassing” she said “You’ll never get him now you silly cow”
She got herself up, gingerly and took her frustration out on Nerissa by unceremoniously yanking the cushion out from under her head so it thumped heavily on the arm of the sofa.
“Ouch” she exclaimed
“Sorry Nez” Victoria said and tiptoed out to the downstairs loo.
When she returned to the lounge Nerissa was sitting on the sofa, and Victoria could tell by her blank expression she was struggling to ascertain any point of reference that would identify her location.
“We’re at Jeff’s” Victoria said and she watched her expression change as it all came flooding back to her, the party, the free bar, the walk and Jeff’s cottage and then the passing out.
“Oh” she exclaimed “Oh God have we blown it?”
“Probably” Vic replied
“Shit” Nerissa said
“Quite” Victoria agreed “Now get yourself moving”
“What time is it?” Nez asked
“5.30” she replied “So we might get home before all the decent people are up and about”
“Why would they care?” Nerissa said “It’s not like we’ve done anything”
“Yes but they don’t know that”
Victoria folded the duvets and put them neatly on the sofa while Nerissa went to the loo and then when she returned they let themselves quietly out the front door.
It was very quiet as they walked along the Childean road, fortunately everyone in the village appeared to have started the day late, they didn’t talk much and when they did it revolved around their missed opportunities, but at least they managed to get home without being seen by anyone of any consequence.