Anniversary Bingo
By ice rivers
- 368 reads
We celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary yesterday. Who knew we would spend it in a senior center walking the indoor track and doing yoga? I guess this is the fabled "growing old together" pipedream . I have a couple of caveats for that concept as it applies to our marriage
First, I am not old yet. How can I be old and still immature? Folks older than me are old. Folks younger than me are young. I've applied the same measure to my height, people taller than me are tall, people shorter than me are short. I'm five foot nine; same size as Brando, DeNiro and unfortunately Hitler.
Second, Lynn will never be old. She's six years younger than I. Supposedly, she's 70 but she looks 50. She is a maintenance freak and has taken care of herself. The consequences of her regard remain evident.
Our latest venture into "fitness" is a natural step for her but a step on the moon for me.
After we complete our yoga and indoor track work, we stop into the most senior area of the senior center to play some Bingo.
Mostly old people here which makes me younger and Lynn a veritable kid. Only a few young uns play. Almost all of them are women. None of them are blonde.
The caller for the Bingo games with her dreadlocks looks like Serena Williams if Serena was a middleweight boxer. Her name is Pam. She's in great shape and clould be a model for workout clothes.
The Bingo room has space for 32 players max. We come in very close to Bingo time so we inherit a front table. I've always found it astounding how people tend to avoid sitting in the front. If I'm going to a concert and I can have any seat in the place for free, I'm going to the front row. Lynn says it's because I want attention. I say it's because I want to pay attention. Big difference
Three more latecomers join us at our table Gail and Jane are sisters and young, Jane taught school for thirty years. Gail is older than Jane. Jane is here for the gym then Bingo, Gail is here for the Bingo. Frances is 87. Frances is old.
Pam gets everybody's' attention. She makes it clear that nobody can win more than three times. Bingo is a weird game. It's all about luck but some people seem to win all the time. Gail agreed with me on both counts.
Once she has our attention, Pam likes to share a laugh by reading something that she considers to be funny. She encourages anybody else who has a funny story to tell that story.
An old bent over man in a covid mask in the back row says he's got a story. Pam says go ahead and tell it. The old guy says "I don't want to go first" which gets a laugh.
Pam tells her story.
It's about a small town and a family within that town. The husband and wife have been married for 30 years. Their son Ronnie brings home Sue and announces his plan to marry Sue. Everybody is happy. The father takes Ronnie aside to "have a talk" about marriage. He tells Ronnie that because his mother wasn't real adventurous in the bedroom (at which a definite sound comes up from the ladies in the bingo room which I would definitely call a titter) that he (the father) had been unfaithful all around town and therefore Ronnie couldn't marry Sue because Sue was his illegitimite daughter and thus Ronnie's half sister. Ronnie broke off the engagement. Two years Ronnie he brought back Felicia. Same deal...half sister. Eight months later he brought Melissa...same deal. Robbie went to his mother and told her of the situation. The Mother laughed and said "don't worry about him, he's not your father anyways."
The whole room laughed at once including the three men present that would be me, the old guy and a young guy with amazing slicked back white hair and well groomed beard who looked something like Kirk Douglas around the time of Saturn 9 when Kirk and Farrah Fawcett were on a space station somehow orbiting Saturn and avoiding Harvey Keitel who is pursing them with bad intentions.
Back to Bingo
The old guy in the Covid mask was gonna have a hard time topping Pam which he admitted when he rose unsteadily to his feet.
This is his story.
An old man was walking through the woods when he noticed a large frog. He picked the frog up. The frog said " Thanks for picking me up and noticing me. I've got a surprise for you. If you kiss me, I'm gonna turn into a beautiful princess. The old man put the frog into his pocket. He could hear the frog within his pocket yelling out,
"Don't you understand me? Can't you hear me? One kiss and I'm a beautiful princess" The old man replied "at this stage of my life, I'd rather have a talking frog."
Everbody laughed again only this time people were clapping while laughing.
The old guy had topped Pam. Pam loved it more than anybody.
We started playing Bingo.
Gail won 3 of the first 5 games. Frances called Bingo on the 4th game but it turned out that number 65 had not been called.
Lynn traded Bingo boards with Gail and proved that it's not the boards, it's the people playing the boards. Some people are just good at Bingo.
We're good at being married.
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Comments
You two are good at being
You two are good at being married and you are good at writing. You find humor even when it's under a rock, find it, expose it, enliven it and thank God you share it. Despair all you want, Ice, we all do, but we are all better writers because we learn from reading you. Stay STRAC my friend.
Jack
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It ain't over till you're
It ain't over till you're dead, Ice, so keep humping that 60 lbs of gear, keep your trigger finger on the trigger guard, then fire when it's time, to true cold cold smoke em inhale the cordite and embrace the suck, you taught because you're a teacher, hoo-ah? you write because you're a writer, hoo-ah? Not for attention or recognition or gratitude though these may all be deserved, but because you are and you can and you do, so mount up, trooper, the home front needs you even if they don't know it .
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Happy anniversary Ice and Mrs
Happy anniversary Ice and Mrs Ice!
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Loved those stories ice and
Loved those stories ice and reading about your celebration. Congrats from me on your anniversary too. Jenny.
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Many congratulations on the
Many congratulations on the anniversary, ice! Enjoyed reading about your day out!
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