Basic Extinct
By ice rivers
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We're not extinct yet so I think I'm smart.
How else can I explain my recent, rather rude attempt to disrespect the intelligence of Dinosurs just because several of them overdosed on filler while standing and starving in the LaBrea tarpits?
Yeah, dinosaurs are extinct and we're not so hardee har har.
Extinction is a fact of lie on Earth; the rule rather than the exception and therefore no reason to construct further arrogance driven oversimplifications. The history of life on this planet is the ironic parade of one extinction after another. I hate to think that five billion years from now some twelve fingered, four thumbed alligator Mozart will discover this very writing and think I'm stupid only because we humans are not around anymore to defend our suicidal obliviation.
I assume the four thumbed alligator will be smaller than me based on another ridiculous evolutionary over simplification that I have clung to for years, namely that intelligence is determined by brain to body ratio with dinosaurs as poster clods and the diplodicus the poster child of poster clods. Since dinosaurs were so gargantuan with such miniature brains no wonder they were doofus enough to go extinct, most of them not even smart/savage enough to learn to carnivore.
Basically, this means that the more we grow, the stupider we get.
What are we saying then when we tell a kid to"grow up"? Are we saying that when you get bigger, you'll be stupider so you can solve your problems in a more dunder headed, more specifically representative way.
Remind me not to advance this theory on the ghost of Andre the Giant.
If this theory were true, I'd be dumber now that I'm older and fatter than I was when I was younger and thinner. Over the years my brain has stayed the same size but my body has grown dramatically. Multiply that problem by a hundred and you have the quandary of the dinosaur.
If this theory were true, we'd start electing big brained infants to positions of political power and struggle to interpret their babble as economic or military strategy.
If this were true, everybody would be going nuts truing to lose body size which means there would be an international fetish for thinness as well as an ongoing craze with dieting and youthful appearance.
Women in particular would be Botoxing like raptors trying to unwrinkle and prolong our species.
Whoops, I've got to go now. A hummingbird, cursing as it went, just crashed into the window on the sliding door of my great room and flattened itself as if in a farmhouse.
Perhaps it will awaken and ask itself "How long have I been out"?
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