Buying Some Milk

   The eighteenth ward was full of grocery stores, what we now would call Mom and Pop shops.

   It wasn't unusual for the shops to have different prices for similar items. On Wisconsin Street, all my relatives were up to date on the differentiations.

   One afternoon, I was spending time with my grandmother when my Uncle Tommy entered the scene. Like most of my relatives on the street, he enjoyed sending me to get myself some candy. Usually he'd send me to Mary's Sweet Shop on East Main. Mary knew all my Wisconsin kin. She had known them since they were kids, walking up to the shop to get candy. This time Tom needed some milk and he was aware of a milk war going on between the shops. He gave me a nickel for candy and sent me on my way, telling me to make sure that I went to the Dago's store and not the Jew's store. 

   I wasn't really listening when he gave me the task because I was thinking of the candy that my nickel would buy. I headed down Wisconsin to Atlantic Avenue rather than up Wisconsin towards East Main. I wasn't thinking about milk, I was thinking about Mary Janes.

   When I got to the store, I had forgotten which store that Tommy to which Tommy had sent me and I wasn't too sure which store was which. I bought my candy first. While eating the candy, I remembered that I was supposed to go to the Dago. I didn't want to get the wrong milk so I innocently asked the person at the counter if this store belonged to the Dago or the Jew. 

   The proprieter asked "who sent you?"

   "My Uncle Tom."

   " I thought so." he said with a smile. "Where did he tell you to go?"

  " He told me the Dago had cheaper milk today so I should go there."

   Of course I had no idea what "Dago" or "Jew" meant other than what I supposed was the name of two competing grocery stores, one of which was the right one because it had cheaper milk today.

   The proprieter said, "you got it right son. I'm Luigi and this is the Dago store. The Jew is on the corner of Main and Wisconsin across from Engine 12.

   I bought the milk and brought it back to Tom who was still chatting with Grandma only some beer had been added to the chat. My Grandma called beer her "medicine" which I thought at the time and now realize that's  exactly what it was.

   I gave Tom the milk and the change. He took a look at the change and asked me where I had gone. I told him that I had gone to the Dago store. He asked who waited on me and I told him Luigi.

   "Luigi huh? There's no Luigi at the Dago store! Was 'Luigi' bald."

   "Yeah Tom, Luigi was bald."

   " You got your stores mixed up. You went to the Jew. The Jew is bald and his name is Norm." Tommy started laughing just as I'm sure "Luigi" had laughed a few minutes earlier. He had put one over on the Mick.

   "Next time I send you to the Dago, head for Mary's Sweet Shop and you'll meet Tony. Tony's the Dago"

I always kept them straight after that.

It was that kind of neighborhood, everybody playing tricks on everybody else...nobody taking offense.