In The Closet
By ice rivers
As an exercise in ongoing dissatisfaction, we are constantly in the market for a new home.
We retain the faiithful enablement of our real estate agent who keeps sending us dreams. Kay knows how much we want to spend and what we want. Every dream costs a little more. We started out around 250 gr...we've been up to 450 and the last place we looked at was 370.
The last place we looked at is in a neighborhood that we've been tempted by before. It's upper middle class maybe even upper class. It's got everything we want and we can afford it.
Kay took us through the house in her usual professional way. She pointed out the plus and minus factors. The main minus was the view from the parlor room. That view included an indepth look at the next door neighbor's faded deck and the formidable snowmobile vehicles stored beneath it.
The usual reccomendation was made. "Just plant some arbore vitae and that'll take care of the problem. They grow very fast."
We won't have fifteen years to lose the sight of the snowmobiles so the view was pretty close to a deal breaker. Kay knew it.
Still there were a tremendous amount of upsides to the place. I was admiring the art work and the books that the owner had on display.....various original cels from Disny films like Cinderella and what looked like a Mirot. As I was meanering in thiss fashion, Kay and Lynn were evaluating the reality of he estate.
I wandered into the downstairs den...a room which could also be a fourth bedroom. I opened the closet and BAM there it was ...the skeleton in the closet.....an actual skeleton in the actual closet.
I shut the closet door. I called Kay over and complimented her on her objectivity. I asked her if besides the snowmobile view she had located any more skeletons in the closet. She said she hadn't and asked me if I had.
I pointed out the den closet and said that closet was bothering me.
She opened the closet.
BAM....SKELETON IN CLOSET
Kay jumped a foot in the air.
Upon gathering herself, Kay commented "well the owner's a masseuse so I guess......"
I said "oh yeah, no problem".
i knew this particular dream wasn't for us.
Our dream doesn't include snowmobile views, imaginary trees nor a skeleton in the closet unless it's one of ours.