Conversation
By ice rivers
- 202 reads
The secret to my success/failure as a conversationalist is the frequency with whiich I say "that reminds me."
When I fail as a conversationalist it's because the people with whom I'm conversing fail to bring up a subject that reminds me of anything other than previous conversations that didn't remind me of anyting and how little I enjoyed those transactions. It feels as if particpants in such conversations are purposefully trying to avoid saying anything of interest for fear that it might lead to some sort of personal revealation which might lead to insight.
In such situations, I become quiet almost shy. I listen to whatever is being "discussed" and keep hoping that I will find an entry into the conversation but I never feel welcomed into it.
I'm not good at small talk. I suck at it. I don't know what to say because it reminds me of nothing.
On the other hand, when I'm involved with conversations that "remind me of something", I often take the lead going from topic to topic as one topic reminds me of another topic and all of them lead me to remember.
When I remember, I have the capacity to be articulate, hilarious, and inspirational in my ability to link what I remember to the memories of those with whom I am conversing and "inspiring" them to share their memory which is linked to mine which usually reminds me of something else which reminds them of something else and on and on we go capturing new insights into miraculously retrieved memories of common/uncommon experiences.
Because at such moments I find myself reveling in extraversion and intuition, I tend to think out loud and describing my thought processes along the way which means I tend to speak in essays rather than sentences. Sometimes people roll their eyes when I speak and zone out of the "essay" before I get to the ending which reaches back to the beginning and ties the loose ends together. Some people accuse me of going on and on when in reality I'm saying a lot in a short amount of time so anybody spacing out during the "essay" loses the thread and thus the meaning of whatever it is that I'm trying to recall in order to engender a similar response in whomever is listening to me whch succeeds repeatedly in the midst of an active conversation.
If ya know what I mean.
We're not looking to get out of the conversation, we're looking to getting into it and savoring every twist and turn.
I'm not trying to dominate, I'm trying to illustrate, navigate challenge and encourage response and when the response comes I intend to extend that ignition. I want to know as much about what you remember as I have shared about what I remember. I am interested in your life. We are all walking metaphors and the truth of our lives offers guiidng lights that have the capacity of illuminating future darknesses.
When all this happens, all particpants emerge from the conversation better off then when they entered it. Risks have been taken and rewarded. Fortune favors the brave. We feel lucky and determined to remain forthright which all depends on who decides to remember what and share that memory rather than protecting it with verbage that means nuthin' to nobody.
Which reminds me.........
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