Drop the Quite At Least
By ice rivers
There, I've done it.
In all of the thousands of idiomatic word combinations that I've typed or uttered, I've never before have said or written "quite frankly".
Idioms become a linguistic contagion. People cough them out without regard to their meaning nor to thier infectious potential. Infectious personality is another idiom to avoid like the plague that it seems not only to suggest but to compliment. Several times, I have had the oxymoronic pleasure of a 'friend' describing me as having "infectious" personality. I didn't know whether to say thank you or to apologize.
When we say "quite frankly" we are sending out a warning signal......hold on to your hats,mate because I'm about to speak in a straightforward or candid manner. I'm about to blast you with the cannon of deliberation. Watch out......
With this warning, I imply that usually I speak in a convoluted pattern loaded with hidden messages. Be alert. I might be telling the truth which a) you're not accustomed to hearing from me and b) you're not accustomed to hearing from anyone because 1) you can't handle the truth and 2) nobody else but me knows the truth because A) you're hiding from the truth and must be protected from it and B)even I when I tell you the truth that only I know must send out a warning to get you ready for what you're about to hear to prevent you from panic, disassociation or nervous breakdown.
I'm not that guy.
See with my infectious personality, I just guess what you want me to say and when what you want me to say is what I believe in or feel like saying, I go ahead and say it without warning nor apology. If you don't want to hear it, I don't know what I'm doing talking to you in the first place other than a bizarre coincidence or I'm forced into a confrontation that I should have been sophisticated enough to avoid in the first place.
Now having ceased to avoid "quite frankly" like the plague, I will continue to avoid the actual plague unlike my friend Frank in Florida who did everything he could to get the COVID which included not doing anything that he should to avoid getting it.
Frank can no longer taste nor smell but goddamned it, it wasn't THAT bad.
I hope my writing isn't infectious although it seems to be spreading around the world at the pace of a snail.
Didja hear the one about the guy who took a step outside his house and saw a snail on the front porch. He kicked the snail off the porch.
Five months later, the guy opened the door again and the snail said "What's up with THAT."
THAT was joke.
I rarely issue a warning siren when I tell a joke although sometimes I have to admit to the fact when someone wonders "where the fuck did that come from."
Jokes have their own infection.
Spread the snail joke if you feel like it.
Be prepared for someone to say,, "quite frankly, I don't get it."
To which you respond,
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn,"
Like Rhett, drop the "quite".