Everybody Wins

A few years ago, Newsweek reported that 72% of married men claimed a good night's sleep while sleeping on the couch while only 27% of married men reported a good night's sleep while in bed with their spouse.

Perhaps this explains a very common  "everybody wins" situation. The guy wants to do something guysh. The woman constructs a womanish obstacle. This is standard practice in the antagonistic co-operation known as marriage.

The guy does his guy thing regardless. It's no big deal. Whaddya making a big deal out of this for etc. 

He feels like a man.

The woman decides "it's a bigger deal than you think it is".

She decides to penalize her guy.

The guy watches a lot of football, he understands penalties.

"You're sleeping on the couch tonight"

She feels like a woman.

The guy moans and groans and heads for the couch.

The woman, triumphant, heads to the bed and may or may not slam the door depending on the severity of the infraction.

Slammed and locked is not good but is reserved for major penalties.

The door closes quietly.

The bedroom teevee goes on.

The guy falls asleep and gets a great rest. He wakes up the next morning more chipper and productive, morre representative of his gender.

The woman is spared the nightly rumbling of the man.

She doubles the personal space in the bed and luxuriates in that space.

She gets a good sleep and wakes up with the knowledge that she has stayed true to her conviction as well as her gender and more important taught the guy one more lesson in the ongoing problem of domestication.

Everybody wins.

Good night, y'all.