Fake Dick
By ice rivers
- 445 reads
About a month ago I saw the trailer for Vice and was blown away.
The trailer began with a closeup of Dick Cheney and then expanded to show the Cheney close uptalking to a fake George Dubya Bush. Beofe they went to the fake Dubya, when first glancing at the face of Cheney, I thought the upcoming film was going to be a documentary.
When I saw the fake Bush, I realized it was going to be a bio pic.
In that split second, I thought my God...Chevy Chase is gonna play Cheney. That's gonna be hilarious.
Next the trailer revealed that it would be Christian Bale playing Cheney which seemed even more unliklely than Chase being the fake Dick.
Right then and there I said "I can't wait to see this."
Before it reached my town, the film had alrerady been nominated for several Golden Globe awards which fueled my already over- eager anticipation.
It opened in Birkdale a couple of days ago.
We decided to wait until yesterday to go and see it because yesterday was my birthday.
When you get to be my age, a birthday get to be kind of a burden. You always wonder if you're making too big a thing of it or not making a big enough thing about it.
This year we decided to lower the limbo bar abd keep it simple.
A movie, bang bang shrimp at Bonefish Grill and then home for football.
The movie was Vice now in it's third day of local release and playing before sold out venues.
We arrived early for Vice. We were the first people in the theatre.
After what seemed like an eternity later, we were the first people to leave the theater. I couldn't wait to get the hell out. I haven't walked out on a movie in many years. The last one was The Amityville Horror. I started to leave this one but Lynn, even though she wasn't enjoying the movie either, held me back.
The movie goes on for more than two hours. After about an hour and a half, I realized that we had yet entered an "exit plan" for the movie. Having lived through all the misadventures portrayed on the screen there was no end in sight, only more heart attacks and a transplant. By this time I had grown used to the astonishment of Bale's fake Dick and Rockwell's fake Bush and Steve Carell's fake Rummy. Instead, I was looking at yet another interpretation of America at its worst as we allowed ourselves to be bullied by Executive Power even as we sat back and watched our rights diminished and our privacy tresspassed against while hundreds of thousands of civilians met their death and oil companies prospered.
It's too soon to be amused by this stuff and too late to be alarmed.
If you've seen the trailer you've seen more than enough.
We've got a whole other series of real problems going on at the moment and for sure, some day probably too soon some genius is going to make a movie out of the tragic tailspin we're in now. Maybe even a bio pic of the Trumpster. Bale could probably play Donald now that Christian is still carrying around the extra 45 pounds he needed for his fake Dick.
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