Fake Rabbit Head: Bill and Ed
By ice rivers
An hour later, I heard a knock at the front door. I went to the door and turned the doorknob. Unlike the doorknob in the garage, the doorknob in the front room worked to perfection. I opened the door.
The knocker was my neighbor, a guy named Lou.
Accompanying Lou was his four year old son Clark.
"Hey neighbor," Bruce began, "Your wife said that she had a doorknob that was giving you guys some problems. Thought I'd take a look at it for ya."
Lou was a big man. He looked big from a distance. The closer he got, the bigger he became. He didn't become taller. He became bulkier. He walked with a plod. If you didn't know how educated Lou was, you might mistake him for a lummox. No...no...no.
Lou was an architectural engineer, who owned his own engineering firm. He was slow moving, thoughtful, considerate man; a great neighbor. He was here to help.
Clark, on the other hand, was a darter with an apparent deficit in the attention department. He was a smart darter and the center of immense parental pride and concern.
"Ice, ask Clark what new number he knows."
I asked "what's pi?"
Clark said, "three point one four comma five nine two comma six five three comma......
Fearing that Clark would go on for the next five hundred twenty decimal places, I interrupted the performance with a big "wow". Every body seemed happy.
Just so you know, I have a habit of broadcasting external activities in my mind as if they are sporting events. Any time I accomplish something, even something as trivial as opening a door, welcoming a neighbor and listening to the neighbor's kid recite pi, my internal, invisible announcer a guy named Eddie will say to his imaginary partner "Against all odds, he did it Bill! He's put a team together and they're ready to rumble"
Bill replied, "and the dog's doing the laundry"
So with Lynn out shopping at Wegman's, the three of us headed out into my garage to confront the stout defense of the doorknob of destiny.
Bill and Ed applauded.