Fill Fuller

When I was a child and more susceptible to the invisible, I was told that heaven and hell represented eternal reward or punishment. I asked "what is eternal?"

I thought I understood reward and punishment, Pretty sure that I over understood sin and fire.

"Eternal is forever and ever and then on top of that another forever and another ever."

I tried to grasp eternity. Couldn't do it.

Still can't.

Same with God.

Hmmmmm

God is eternal.

Trying to grasp one is trying to grasp the other and all of it is like trying to grasp the present moment which disappears the moment that we reach for it yet becomes immediately accessible a moment after that forever and ever or at least until we die, than the other thing takes over.

Each now moment is an atom in the infinite paradox of the eternal. When we enjoy the now, we enjoy a tiny bit of the eternal which means we get a glimpse of God within ourselves and suspect the eternal within each of us which is composed by the atoms of the moment.

It is our job, our destiny to fill each moment as fully as we are capable. Yet, let's face it most of our moments are occupied by the forgettable and we always forget when we're not paying full attention. We become so concentrated on the temporal that we lose sight of the eternal in our ongoing effort to measure our lives we imagine that the ruler rules or the scales dictate or the guy next door has a better car.

So the challenge in our lives is to make more full the filler that defines our journeys. We do that by consciously filling fuller that filler. We become more aware of the paths leading up to whatever realizations we have collected. We all remember when we fell in love or when we broke our arm or when we won the bet or when our parents died or are children born. Those moments stand out amidst the fog of the filler. As monumental as those moments are/were, they did not take place in a vacuum. We tend to remember where we were and who we were with but we tend to forget how we and they got there although sometimes we are reminded with music.

These are the forgotten stories of our lives. We find ways to capture and express them, in my case with words that stay

It demands a constant conscious effort to more fully fill the filler. It demands struggle. It demands passion and suffering. It demands the loving of love. Humor takes care of itself and is avaiable in every atom regardless of tears or laughter.. It demands a sense of humility and guilt in the presence of the eternal. It demands appreciation for the paradox which embraces ambiguity. Humor is omnipresent when we are alert enought to seek it. It's our opportunity to shine as we all do when we remember to try and forget that we are trying. 

It's our endeavor.

Our Forever endeavor.

Forever and ever

Amen.