Happy Hair
By ice rivers
- 630 reads
On the bright side of all this darkness stands my hair.
Usually by this time, Lynn has chopped it all off in what we call the "insane asylum" look. Just before the chopping, my hair has reached a point of uncontrollability, with cowlick sprouting all over the place that it must be eliminated.
Because we haven't been able to get our hair cut by professionals and since I've resisted the "insane asylum" look, my hair has reached some kind of understanding with my face and personality. I love my hair and that hasn't happened since I was nineteen and someone took a picture of me and when I saw the picture I thought to myself "self, you've got great hair."
That was the last photo of me and my hair that I could stand to look at and let's face it that was a half century ago. Because of that picture, in my mind, I'm always nineteen which has caused arrested development problems throughout my life as well as a distorted self image that has resulted in various illusions leading to thousands of miles of bad roads.
The "insane asylum" cut had its genesis thrity years ago when my hair entered a full scal rebellion. Lynnn sat me down and started the process of taking a little off here and a little off ther and then discovering the lack of symmetry would take a little more off here which would cause laughter on her part and result in a little off there until almost all of it was gone and Lynn doubling over in hysterical laughter at what she had wrought.
I love it when my wife gets a good laugh so when she sent me to the mirror to inspect my haircut, I too broke into hysterical laughter and said "I look like a guy from an insane asylum" Lynn agreed and we laughed harder and harder.
So over the years, in attempts to save money and recapture the hysteria of the initial insane asylum cut, we continued the tradition. I would growm my hair until it would begin its foolhardy revolution and then, BAM..CLIP...LAUGH...CRY...INSANE ASYLUM.
We could get away with this syndrome because my hair always grows back with a vengeance. I haven't had to give one thought yet to baldness other than a fleeting temptation of an intentional YuL Brynner.
So back to this pandemic.
My hair got longer and I started to attempt to train it with gloop and by sticking my head in the basin and drenching it with water. Then I comb it back into a fake Deniro which lasts about an hour and then it's back for another drench and more gloop.
I thought it looked good one day and took a selfie. The selfie turned out to be the first picture that I've enjoyed of myself for since I was nineteen because HOLY SHIT, it actually looked like how I thought I might look if I didn't still look nineteen which I obviously did not. So now picture this is now how I imagine my look and will probably maintain thie illusion until my deathbed.
Christ almighty, I look like a guy who was a teacher, raised a family and who actually wrote a book.
It took long enough.
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Hair! The Musical - long
Hair! The Musical - long beautiful hair. Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen...Nice locks for lockdown,,,nice to have HAppy Hair! Enjoyed
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