In the Harem of Sheik Yathang
By ice rivers
- 140 reads
Life in a harem is not all that it's cracked up to be, a eunuch named Vallay learned the hard way.
After "finishing school," Vallay, previously known as Sam, was assigned by the Grand Wazoo to the harem of Sheik Yathang as a fascinator.
The Grand Wazoo welcomed Vallay with a warning. He pressed his dagger against the exposed stomach of Vallay and said, "Do your job well and you will live. If you cannot do your job, then my blade will do its job and do it slowly."
After the warning, Vallay and the Wazoo made their way into the romanticized and stereotyped harem, which is way too politically incorrect to describe but you can see in your mind with the veils, the pools, the statues, the incense, cushions, the music and everything else.
Whoops, almost got a little carried away.
Where were we...oh yeah
The Wazoo signaled for Cello to come forward.
From behind a curtain, Cello emerged.
Both nubile and lithe, Cello was olive-skinned with almond-shaped eyes, high cheekbones, full lips, and dark curly hair. Her body was covered in a crimson tunic. She carried with her an ornate box.
In the box, Cello carried her stash of jewelry: elaborate earrings, hoop and chandelier-style earrings, which were encrusted with diamonds, emeralds, and rubies; long, Delicate beaded necklaces made from pearls, coral; thick, ornate bracelets made from gold or silver embellished with gemstones and engravings; anklets made from gold and silver, adorned with sapphire or intricate designs; and tiaras and hairpins, decorated with emeralds and topaz.
Vallay looked at the contents of the box and was fascinated.
Cello extended her bare wrist.
Vallay had no idea what to do.
The Wazoo broke the silence...."Fasten, fastenator."
Vallay didn't know the difference between an anklet, an earring, a necklace, or a bracelet. He figured that the tiara would be way too big for Cello's wrist, so he picked what he thought might be a bracelet and slipped it onto her wrist.
Then Cello turned her back to Vallay.
He figured this movement suggested a necklace.
Again, no idea....
The Wazoo was getting edgy.
Cello shifted from foot to foot.
Vallay pulled from the box what he considered to be a necklace.
He stretched the necklace around Cello's slender neck, and this is when the problems really began. Vallay couldn't clasp the clasp.
Fifteen minutes passed.
Vallay's obvious ineptitude was noticed by Cello who backed away as if insulted and disappeared. behind the curtain
The Wazoo, infuriated, screamed, "What the fuck kind of fastenator are you?"
Vallay fell to his knees, "Please Wazoo, my application said fascinator, not fastenator."
The Wazoo, to his credit, recognized his mistake.
"Awright, get up, get up, my bad. Don't tell anybody about this screwup, ya hear me? This whole shit thing never happened. And what, by the way, is a fascinator?"
"A fascinator tells fascinating stories."
The Wazoo frowned, "Well, is this a 'fascinating' story, Vallay?"
"Oh no, I'll never tell anyone."
Wazoo was scared shitless that the word of this latest screwuip would get out and he'd lose his job as Harem Resource Manager (Eunuchs)....a job once held by Sam in his pre-eunuch days before he became an unrecognizable but fascinating story teller.
"Of course, I could take your tongue and the tongue of Cello to make sure," and with that, he pulled his dagger and called for Cello to reappear.
When she came through the curtain, the Wazoo said, "If you value your tongue, Cello, this never happened...Ya got me."
Cello nodded barum ba bump ba.
Later that day, the Wazoo presented Cello with another priceless tiara which elevated her status with "the girls".
The Wazoo proposed to Vallay an "opportunity" and "challenge" by offering him the job as assistant Harem resource manager and as a bonus he could keep his tongue on condition.
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