Hugo
By ice rivers
- 204 reads
Fortunately for his face and his career, Hugo Snyde lacked the muscles to convey a look of either intensity or conviction. He made up for this lack with a tremendous level of je ne c'est quois, that indescribable "something that must be seen to be believed" or in Snyde's case not believed. He radiated arrogance, mendacity, treachery and cunning. His face battled his nature which was kind, sensitive and reliable. Eventually, the face won out. He was discovered while haggling over the price of champagne in a brothel by Howard Gold, an agent who specialized in spotting and representing many of the most despised villains in mid-twentieth century American cinema. Howard recognized immediately that Hugo represented yet another casting goldmine. Snyde was no leading man which Gold explained was a blessing. Leading men take on too much responsibility plus they must spent too much time on individual movies whereas a supporting actor, particularly secondary villains could leap from job to job, earn a lot of money, be continually sought after and avoid the attention of both the media and over wrought fans.
Snyde wasn't doing much when he was "discovered" by Gold who already had a couple second villain role opportunities that he needed to fill. Snyde took the jobs and let his face do the talking. He had a face that was made for a monacle. He had way with the "schwienhund" and making it sound both terrifying and boring at the same time.
Eventually, Snyde began to become his own agent. He kept playing the same roles over and over again although in different costumes and means of transportation ranging from pirate in captured galleon to armor clad tyrant (paper mache chestplate) riding a chariot to flannel suited con man hailing a taxi. Whatever and wherever he played, Snyde simply followed his face which had taken over his life. Snyde was being himself over and over again and doing it beautifully.
After 25 years of work, Snyde had become a Hollywood personality and began to amass all of the trappings...not so much because he wanted them but rather because they helped his image which made his screen perfromances that much more irritating.
Everybody who was anybody in Hollywood at that time had a yacht. Snyde bought one of his own...The Lazy Lover. He hired a crew to maintain and steer the thing when he wanted to travel. Snyde realized that since he was paying the crew full-time, he had better use the yacht so he began to plan his first yacht party. He contacted many of his Hollywood associates including Cole Porter, Judy Garland and Oscar Levant and disovered to his dismay that they were already booked to party on the yachts of more famous movies tars and more prsoeperous studio heads and directors. Thus, Hugo found himself in the battle of the yachts for potential party goers.
Hugo discovered that most of the A listers as wll as the b listers were already booked as guests on different yachts. The yacht owners in order to attract the most admirable guest list kept increasing the booze, the food, and the prostitutes on their cruises. Hugo couldn't compete even though he rehired Gold to locate and lure unknown prospects to party on his yacht...The Lazy Lover.
In order to lure even these wannabees onto the Lord, Gold had to promise them more booze, more food, more trinkets and more broads than was being used by the agents of other more well repected yachtowners like Ty Power. Every so often, the word would spread about a successful party that Snyde had thrown. Those who attended that party attracted the attention of Eroll Flynn who captured them and brought them onto his yacht.
Snyde quickly grew tired of the whole yacht business, He got rid of Gold. He sold the Lazy Lover. He married upcoming starlet Va Va Voom and continued his now landlocked career.
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