Lifesaver
By ice rivers
- 327 reads
Bad ideas? I've had more than my share. Some of them became actions which have turned into attitudes, fears and biases.
Here's my recollection of a very early, very bad decision based on an even worse idea.
We were still living on Parsells Avenue and my brother Deke wasn't born yet so I'm thinking that I was maybe 3 years old tops.
One day in the car, I noticed that my parents had a way of making life savers. They pushed in a button on the dash and they pulled out an orange lifesaver. I asked them about it and they were amused by my childish imagination but warned me never to touch the button on the dash.
One afternoon, I got into the car by myself.
I pushed the button on the dash.
The button popped out so did the lifesaver.
The lifesaver was hot just like cookies out of the oven.
I hesitated for a moment.
I put the lifesaver on my tongue.
I wasn't afraid.
My tongue was still moist with confidence in anticipation of orange goodness.
I put the lifesaver on my tongue.
It wasn't a lifesaver.
I had pulled the cigarette lighter out of the dash and put it, still orange hot right on my tongue.
Yeah, it burned. It hurt. It didn't scar because my tongue was moist enough to absorb the heat.
Still, I had disobeyed my parents. I didn't want to make a sound so whatever yell I contemplated, I manage to squelch.
The pain subsided. I hesitated to open my mouth in fear that I had a circular brand forever etched into my tongue. I went over various excuses in my mind. I remeber thinking that I'd just never talk or smile again which still left the problem of eating.
After awhile, I opened my mouth and mercifully there was no visible wound.
I never said anything about this to my parents.
I tried to forget it ever happened.
I stopped eating orange life savers.
When I come to an orange life saver in a package of life savers or someone offers me a lifesaver and it happens to be orange, I either throw it away or say no thank you.
I blame the orange life saver.
I'm not about to blame my parents who told me not to touch the thing although they did let me out of their sight long enough to not only touch the thing but to push it in, pull it out and put it on my tongue.
I'm not about to blame the cigarette lighter. The cigarette lighter was doing its job, doing what it was meant to do.
I don't blame myself, I was just a kid with an idea.
I blamed the lifesaver for decades.
An actual orange lifesaver never had anything to do with any of it except for somehow landing in the middle of a bad idea and bearing the brunt of the consequence.
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